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T O P I C
The Great PlanetCrap Story Time (#1)
March 29th 2004, 08:16 CEST by Caryn

If you're writing them or reading them, this is the topic to discuss the first ever PlanetCrap Writing Exercise.

This is a chance for anyone, whether you consider yourself a writer or not, whether you're a writing veteran or a complete newbie, to take part in some really good creative fun. This is the first time we're trying this, so let's see how well it works.

How It Works:
Someone suggests a theme, and everyone on PC who's interested writes a story based on that theme. You can interpret the theme however you'd like -- that's part of the creative exercise. Just make sure that the core theme is still in the story.

This Exercise's Theme:
A man sees a woman on the same bus he rides for years. One day, she's not there.

How To Participate:
The stories will be posted here at my web site for everyone to read. As new stories come in, they'll be added to the list. If you're participating, just email your stories to HC (stripping out the at and the dot) hellchick net. You can send it in any format, and let me know if you want me to HTML it (I'll do that).

What do we get in return? The benefits are two-fold:

- We get to see how each participant interprets a single theme. That alone is kind of cool.

- If you're interested, you can get critical feedback on your story to help make it better. This is generally how writing groups work, and if you want to improve your writing, it's one of the best ways to do so.

If you're participating just for the fun of it and aren't interested in having your writing critically analyzed, just be sure to make that clear in the thread. And if you'd like to have your work really critiqued, be sure and mention that.

The point of this is really to have fun. I know I'm looking forward to reading everyone's stories. So participate and enjoy!
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: The Great PlanetCrap Story Time (#1)

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#1 by BobJustBob
2004-03-29 08:16:38
I like mine.

Dood.
#2 by BobJustBob
2004-03-29 08:17:43
I like the other ones too. So far, so good.

Dood.
#3 by Squeaky
2004-03-29 08:19:26
Too many words, not enough pictures.

I love the Power Glove. It's so bad.
dvds
#4 by chris
2004-03-29 08:20:05
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
Those who've entered: please tell us the level of critical feedback you'd like. If you're new to writing fiction or to criticism in general, don't feel bad asking us to go easy on you. I was terrified the first time I sent Caryn a story. She was the first person I'd shown my writing to in almost ten years.

I'll start off: Bring it on. I'll take any type of crits people want to give.

I ripped that story out off the top of my head, so I can't claim it's the best thing I've ever done, but I think it turned out okay. A second draft could probably make it into something interesting.

I'm working my way through the stories on the site, but I won't do any critique until I know for sure what the authors are looking for.

-chris
#5 by lwf
2004-03-29 08:21:24
I didn't vote for this! I haven't finished mine!! Stop talking!!!!!

For the next time you must redefine something.
#6 by Caryn
2004-03-29 08:22:12
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I second what chris just posted. I'll be as gentle as you'd like or as critical as you'd like. And I like to think I'm pretty good about constructive feedback (chris and mgns can speak more to that than I can).

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#7 by chris
2004-03-29 08:27:02
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
I don't post anything without running it through Caryn first, so that should give you some idea how much I value her opinion.

Yes, that's right, she gets to see new episodes of Voices a day before the rest of you. EAT IT, BITCHES!

-chris
#8 by Bailey
2004-03-29 08:32:57
It tastes like voter apathy.

My continued existence is purely to spite any sense of fairness in the universe.
#9 by Caryn
2004-03-29 08:37:22
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I just linked my own story on the index page. Feel free to be as critical as you want. Rip it to pieces, I don't care. I find good, critical feedback to be very valuable.

I like my story, I think it came out really well. However, there are a couple of things I'm not sure worked out as well as they should have. I won't color anyone's perceptions of it before they read it, so I'll wait to hear what people think about it first.

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#10 by lwf
2004-03-29 08:40:50
If you care it just isn't the name, we want to maul your BABY.

For the next time you must redefine something.
#11 by G-Man
2004-03-29 08:44:25
Joker's entry reads like a children's book, which is to say it is written simply. Bob's is just too rambling and unfocused to be any good, but he manages to get a few good lines in here and there. Chris wins the contest for now, but he was a ringer. JMCDaveL's is the most original so far (and second best entry), and wins the Stephen King Impersonation award. Caryn wins the too-long-for-me-to-read-tonight award.
#12 by Bailey
2004-03-29 08:45:58
I think we need to re-examine the word limit.

My continued existence is purely to spite any sense of fairness in the universe.
#13 by Caryn
2004-03-29 08:53:36
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
Pfft. 4K words is just over the average short story.

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#14 by Bailey
2004-03-29 09:02:03
Not when you're dealing with people who have the attention span of an ADD-afflicted gerbil.

My continued existence is purely to spite any sense of fairness in the universe.
#15 by chris
2004-03-29 09:02:39
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
Okay, here are my comments on Caryn's:

*** SPOILERS ***


First off, this is the best dialog I've seen from you. Ever. It's fun and snappy and well-written, and you know immediately a few things about Andy: first, that he's the exact type of guy you don't want sitting next to you on the bus. Second, that "the boy ain't right" as they say. You manage to instill a sense of unease in the reader really early on, but you keep them guessing.

That said, I was able to figure out Andy pretty early. I had him pegged as, err... a higher authority in his organization, but the basic gist was maybe a touch too easy to grab right from the start. The epiphany at the end is nicely delivered but maybe a little TOO subtle?

I think it could be made clearer that, like him or no, Andy was planning on offing Richard. It's only luck on his part that Andy's being called in for a meeting and thus Richard's life is saved. I think a short scene of Richard dealing with what's just happened before "The next morning..." might be handy. People often have physical reactions to extreme tension, and the passing of such, and describing that in detail might help.

I won't bother with niggling grammar/spelling stuff here. If you want, send me the word doc and I'll do an editing pass.

Couple specifics:

chatting up a guy who was as twitchy as someone on meth, which he probably was

This reads a little awkward to me. I'd go for the full on metaphor here. "Chatting up some twitchy meth addict was..." because it becomes apparent later on that no, that's not Andy's problem. Might just be me.

Sitting, staring


You repeat this twice in the first page but then never again. I actually think you could bring it back a few more times, but find a way to work it in with other descriptive sentences to show that the sitting and staring has gone from bored, to confused, to edgy, to nervous, to downright terrified.

And then maybe near the end to calm, because he believes his time has come?

Overall, though, I thoroughly enjoyed the piece, and am very glad we decided not to make this a competition. =)

-chris
#16 by chris
2004-03-29 09:05:40
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
#8 Bailey
It tastes like voter apathy.

Come on man, I even included you on the Praise Page!!

-chris
#17 by Caryn
2004-03-29 09:07:40
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I refuse to shorten my word length to satisfy someone's Internet ADD. I'd shorten it if it was valuable to the story. If I can't grab them enough to read the whole thing, then I've failed.

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#18 by E-ph0nk
2004-03-29 09:09:53
http://www.electrophonk.be
Just read Chris his story, and I really liked it.
It could get a bit of a trim here & there, but the depressed feeling and the conclussions the character takes about his own life/actions are a nice addition to the basic story.

Also read Jokers, but I noticed a lot of the same things come back.  John did this, john did that.. I think the basic idea isn't bad, but he should rework it to make it a more pleasent read.

Will read the other ones after work.

#19 by Bailey
2004-03-29 09:11:17
I'm pretty sure no one was actually criticizing the length of your verbiage, Caryn.

My continued existence is purely to spite any sense of fairness in the universe.
#20 by Caryn
2004-03-29 09:17:34
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
Critique of chris' story -- there may be spoilers:

Overall, I really liked this a lot. The story is packed with description that really paints the scene well in the reader's mind. The narration is very natural and flows really well. A few particular points I liked:

This isn't a love story. I don't have those details.

Right away you foreshadow the ending, and it sets the tone for the story. We know that the ending isn't a sappy, happy one. I really liked this.


I guess you worry about people thinking you're a pervert if that's what you are.

I loved this line! Best line in the story.

You know the principle of inertia? A body at rest tends to stay at rest, and all that? That's me. Not that I don't move, obviously, since I get on the bus and everything... but what I mean is that sometimes -- most of the time -- it's easier to not do anything, than to do something. It's easier to stay the same than to change. It's easier to keep walking to the back of the bus and never sit down in that front seat.

I just liked the imagery in this paragraph.


She caught me looking at her again, only a few stops from where she would get off, like she had a hundred times before. Maybe more. I'm using "a hundred" in that way where it's not so much a number as a shorthand term for "more times than I could count, but less than would justify using some extravagant hyperbole."

For some reason, this paragraph felt slightly awkward to me. I think it's because I felt like you were explaining the obvious and that the explanation was almost as a side note, so it was sort of a tangent to the actual story and distracted me for a moment. I'd consider a way of shortening the hyperbole explanation and not necessarily removing it because I like what you're trying to do here.


I loved the ending, the change from the cute smile to the sad smile. I like that the story really weaves over and under the whole smile thing; it ties the story together nicely.

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#21 by Caryn
2004-03-29 09:18:20
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
Geez, Bailey, and here I thought we were trading quips as in a tennis match. One where I get to be Serena Williams and you get to be Venus.

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#22 by chris
2004-03-29 09:21:07
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
But the entire rest of the world only cares who gets to be Anna.

-chris
#23 by Caryn
2004-03-29 09:25:56
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
#15 chris

VERY useful critical feedback. I think you picked up on what I felt were the weak spots in the story.

***SPOILERS***

That said, I was able to figure out Andy pretty early. I had him pegged as, err... a higher authority in his organization, but the basic gist was maybe a touch too easy to grab right from the start. The epiphany at the end is nicely delivered but maybe a little TOO subtle?

Interesting. I actually worried that I had the reader thinking for too long in the story that he was just some crazy stalker/killer rather than something altogether different. I'll re-examine that.


I think it could be made clearer that, like him or no, Andy was planning on offing Richard.

It's interesting that you interpreted it like that, as I actually don't know if Andy was planning to do that or not. ;)

This reads a little awkward to me. I'd go for the full on metaphor here. "Chatting up some twitchy meth addict was..." because it becomes apparent later on that no, that's not Andy's problem. Might just be me.

Yes! MUCH better wording. I reworked that sentence two or three times trying to get it right. I like your suggestion much better.

I actually think you could bring it back a few more times, but find a way to work it in with other descriptive sentences to show that the sitting and staring has gone from bored, to confused, to edgy, to nervous, to downright terrified.

And then maybe near the end to calm, because he believes his time has come?


Ooh. Very good suggestion here. I hadn't really gone into any detail on that, and I think you might be right, that it's a useful "show, don't tell" way of treating the feelings Richard is going through. Especially since I think Richard is a little flat for a character. Maybe that would help bolster him.

Thanks for the critique. On target, as usual. :)

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#24 by Caryn
2004-03-29 09:27:21
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
You'd think the Preview window in OC would be a good thing to use. You'd THINK that, but you'd be wrong.

"See, Canadians believe Jesus walked on water. We just figure it was winter when he did." - Squeaky
#25 by chris
2004-03-29 09:33:00
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
#23 Caryn
Interesting. I actually worried that I had the reader thinking for too long in the story that he was just some crazy stalker/killer rather than something altogether different. I'll re-examine that.

Well, keep in mind I'm a life-long Stephen King fan with a definite penchant for the supernatural, so my brain heads right in that direction.

It's interesting that you interpreted it like that, as I actually don't know if Andy was planning to do that or not. ;)

I wasn't 100% sure either, but I went with my gut that, even though Andy likes Richard, he'd still have done whatever he could to get out of his current job.

Especially since I think Richard is a little flat for a character. Maybe that would help bolster him.

He could probably use a bit more personality, yeh, especially because Andy is an extremely personality-filled character.

Thanks for the critique. On target, as usual. :)

Ain't no thang.

-chris
#26 by BobJustBob
2004-03-29 09:35:10
Feel free to criticize mine as harshly as you wish, although I will use the "I write for me" caveat. I'll likely respond with "intentional stylistic choice" or not respond at all, but I'm interested to hear opinions.

#11 by G-Man
rambling and unfocused


Intentional stylistic choice. Although I didn't think it was too rambling and unfocused. I tried to always tie the asides back into the story.

Dood.
#27 by chris
2004-03-29 09:35:14
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
#20 Caryn
I loved this line! Best line in the story.

=)

For some reason, this paragraph felt slightly awkward to me. I think it's because I felt like you were explaining the obvious and that the explanation was almost as a side note, so it was sort of a tangent to the actual story and distracted me for a moment. I'd consider a way of shortening the hyperbole explanation and not necessarily removing it because I like what you're trying to do here.

As I noted in IRC, I was just rereading and not liking that part, either. When I get around to rewriting this piece, I'll definitely give that section some major attention.

I loved the ending, the change from the cute smile to the sad smile. I like that the story really weaves over and under the whole smile thing; it ties the story together nicely.

My only concern is that it's maybe a little fast. I think if I rewrite it the change in smile will be more gradual as the woman realizes that her bus trips are going to be coming to an end, and no, the protagonist is never going to get around to talking to her.

-chris
#28 by chris
2004-03-29 09:35:48
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
Bob I have to sleep but I will definitely give you a critique tomorrow.

-chris
#29 by JMCDaveL
2004-03-29 10:47:17
G-Man: Pulpy stock Stephen King short story was exactly what I was going for.

--jmc
#30 by The_Joker
2004-03-29 11:56:51
http://www.jackinworld.com
Everyone, please be harsh and let me have it! Anything you can possibly think of that sucks with the story i sent, my writing, anything.

G-Man is right that it reads like a children's book. That's how I write, and speak too if you know me. I don't use "difficult words", not even in my native language. And less so in english because I have a more limited vocab there.

But basically I'm always concerned if people will understand what I want to explain to them or tell them. That's why E-ph0nk is also right. I think I tried writing in complete sentences too much. Which is why you get John did this, john did that etc.

Anyway, looking forward to more comments.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
#31 by lwf
2004-03-29 13:01:35
I just emailed mine to Caryn it's, dark and edgy!

You idiots can criticise it all you want and call me a loser, it's all I've really written in the past 3 years aside from failed love letters and requests for a pay raise.

For the next time you must redefine something.
#32 by E-ph0nk
2004-03-29 13:33:23
http://www.electrophonk.be
Just read the short by JMCDaveL, and storywise I like it the most untill now.  Nice twist!

Okay, now you think I'm reading too much into this. Fine, but the next day one of the septuagenarian politicos was gone. In her place? Another suit, this one was grey-blue. Same brown suitcase. Next day, another was gone, replaced by a brown suit. Next was the liberal-conservative pair. Two grey suited businessmen for them.

You have some sentences like these, and although I'm English is not my native language (and I prob. make mistakes often) - it didn't feel quite right for me.  If you could get the story to "flow" a bit more, and write it down a little in column/newspaper style it would be a really great read!

I hope more people contribute, really like them so far.

#33 by gaggle
2004-03-29 14:24:56
I've only read BobJustBob's story all the way through so far (I'm at work, please don't tell anyone :), but I liked it. Infact this whole writing exercise thing is turning out much less of an atrocious disaster than I had imagined. And yes, I'll try and come up with something more informative than just "I liked it". We'll see.
#34 by The_Joker
2004-03-29 14:49:35
http://www.jackinworld.com
Me and my wang read all the other stories so far, except for Caryn's (so many words!), but I will read hers too later, and I think they're so different from eachother. Very interesting how everyone comes up with something different. JMCDaveL's story was interesting.

But I honestly can't say which one I like most. I suck at that.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
#35 by The_Joker
2004-03-29 15:19:03
http://www.jackinworld.com
I also want to say that when I read G-Man's comments I actually took it as a compliment. And also very clever that G-Man recognized the children's books style from my writing. Because for years now I have always thought of writing a children's book. Probably just random stories, or fairy tales, etc. Because I love children's books myself.

So in the future when you fucks have kids, and they start acting very strange, you may want to check out what they've been reading.

And since this topic is about writing, I want to share another story with you and get some comments. I wrote this about 4-5 years ago. Some of you may remember it if you used to read JunkExtreme. The comments I got from friends then were mostly related to the sad ending. Stuff like "dude, what the fuck is the use of such a story?people don't like to read this kind of stuff" and that it was depressing etc.
It seemed people either really loved it, or really disliked it because of the ending.
I had sent it to some young cousins in Holland, just for fun, and without me knowing it they brought it to school with them, and showed it to their teacher as their contribution for english class. The teacher loved it so much apparently that he had the children read it and discussed it with them in the classroom. Then I got an email out of nowhere thanking me for the story etc.

Anway here it is:


The little bird that wanted the impossible
 
Once upon a time there was a little bird. This bird was always considered to be a little different from the other birds, and it was always really hard for the bird to make friends. All the other birds were so different to the little bird, and it seemed as if it would never find a nice friend to play with.

Then one day, as the bird flew across a large open field, playing by itself and enjoying the morning breeze, the bird saw a strange twinkle in a lake nearby. The bird had never seen anything like it before, so it landed next to the lake, in the shade of a tree and looked at the beautiful twinkles in the water. And they were not normal twinkles, but they had a pattern. And it was obvious to the bird that it was the sunlight, which was causing those nice twinkling effects. So the bird sat there next to the lake, and enjoyed watching the sun play in the water causing all those beautiful twinkles. After a while the bird decided to join the sun and play with it together in the lake, and they had so much fun together. It was the start of a beautiful friendship, and from that day on the sun would follow the bird everywhere and they would be playing together during the day while the sun was doing its usual work also. And every day at dusk, the bird and the sun would say goodbye to each other and wish each other well until they would meet again at dawn.

At night the little bird would be lonely, and would only hope that it could be day again soon so that it could play with its friend the sun again. And at dawn they would both be reunited again and so happy to see each other again, and the little bird would fly into the morning sunlight heading into another beautiful day with its dearest friend. It went just like that for months and the bird and the sun were both so happy with their friendship. And all the other birds would envy the little bird because of its beautiful friendship with the sun.

But as time went by the bird grew to like the sun so much, and eventually it would become so hard for the bird to go through the night without the sun, being all alone. The nights seemed to become longer and longer and the bird would miss its friend the sun so much, and that would make the little bird so sad and cause its little heart to be in pain........pain which became more and more as the days went by. And the sun could notice the bird was not as cheerful as it always had been, and sometimes the little bird would just stop playing with the sun and sit on the branch of a tree and put its little head under its wings and think. The sun ofcourse was sad to see its good friend in such a way and the sun would try to cheer the little bird up. Sometimes the sun succeeded, but sometimes the little bird did not respond.
 
And one day when the little bird woke up early at dawn, it thought it had enough of being alone at night. The little bird didn't want to be alone at night anymore, and miss its good friend the sun. The little bird wanted to be with the sun forever and did not want to be separated from the sun anymore. So with all those thoughts in its mind, the bird decided it would fly toward the sun and meet its friend where it would stay with the sun the whole day and would never have to be a single hour without the sun anymore. Determined to reach that goal, the little bird flew off early at dawn and headed towards the sun. The little bird flew fast and used all its strength to be able to reach the sun before it would be dusk again. While the bird was on its way to reach the sun, it was so happy because of the thought that soon it would meet the best friend it had and would never be separated from its friend ever again. And the sun saw what the little bird was trying to do but couldn't do anything...besides, the sun was so glad to finally see the bird so happy again.

The little bird flew for hours and hours but the sun still seemed to be so far away......but as determined as the little bird was, it kept flying using all the strength in its little body. But unfortunately, the sun was too far away for the little bird to reach, still, the bird used all its strength and energy to keep flying towards the sun and eventually became more and more tired and it was as if all energy was drained from its little body. As the little bird flew over a big lake, it had no strength anymore to fly and the bird gradually flew slower and slower....still trying its best to keep flying using all the strength it had left. But it was no use, the bird had no strength left in its body to fly anymore, and became almost unconscious......still making the flapping movement with it's wing, the bird slowly started to descent........more and more until the bird finally got into a freefall. With a small splash the bird fell into the lake and went down deep into the blue water to never come to the surface ever again. And while the small body of the bird slowly descended to the bottom of the lake, its friend the sun in deep sadness caused the most beautiful twinkles ever seen before on the surface of the lake, as if it was saying goodbye to the best friend it ever had, the little bird....

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
#36 by lwf
2004-03-29 15:39:44
Tell you what, I'll read that if you post some pics of the asian broad.

For the next time you must redefine something.
#37 by gaggle
2004-03-29 15:43:53
Awww.
I thought the bird, right as it gave up heading for celestial bodies, would see the sun sparkle in the lake and head towards that, because all things be damned it would DAMN bloody well reach that goddamn sun one way or another. Even if it meant settling for its reflection.

Anyway, I think the ending, to me, come off a little.. idunno.. simple? This unloaden african swallow tried and tried really hard and then it couldn't fly anymore and gave up. And it's sad, yes, but it's not.. there's.. there's not a lot for me to take from it?

Then again it's a childrens story, so, yeah whatever. Just splurting out what comes to mind. It's good that it ends sad-like, though, anything else would've been a mistake.

If you'll allow one last random armchairwriter idea, it could've burnt up from the heat of the sun, feeling the pain increase until death, but wanting to be with it so badly it just. didn't. give a shit.
#38 by gaggle
2004-03-29 15:44:30
Damn! I forget about that.. I withdraw my comments until .gifs are posted.
#39 by gaggle
2004-03-29 15:46:54
And I permanently withdraw an illplaced comma following "sad-like".
#40 by gaggle
2004-03-29 15:47:20
hat trick!
#41 by The_Joker
2004-03-29 15:49:48
http://www.jackinworld.com
#36 I already told you, no. more. pics.

Just go to asiannudes.net yourselves!!

#37 Look man, the bird may not know that the sun is too far away, and what the sun really is, but it's not that stupid to dive into water and drawn, nor can it build up enough energy to escape earth's atmosphere and fly across space to reach the sun.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
#42 by gaggle
2004-03-29 16:02:57
Oh, right, because the sun behing all happy clearly sets this piece solidly grounded in fact! I'm felt rather sure it was a story that teaches us something about life, something the bird does or experiences that is true on a much larger scale in our own lives. But no, it's a fact-based hard-science documentary about a bird and it's fucking fascination of sunlight!

Actually I'm nowhere near as pissed off as I sound. I'm rather friendly really. I'm just laying on with the 'tude because.. well.. it's the PC way! So cheers, you write whichever story you want, I'm just offering random thoughts.
#43 by gaggle
2004-03-29 16:04:04
Jesus christ my spelling suffered something fierce. "Being", "I", "its", etc. Geh.
#44 by The_Joker
2004-03-29 16:18:20
http://www.jackinworld.com
#42 Dude, have you seen the sun? For years now people have always put a smile on the sun's face in drawings. So whether you like it or not, it's become science.

I was just joking in #41 too so don't mind it. (in case you didn't know)

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
#45 by lwf
2004-03-29 16:19:38
I'm glad you were joking, joker. Now, let's have those photos.

For the next time you must redefine something.
#46 by The_Joker
2004-03-29 16:21:32
http://www.jackinworld.com
#42 and your assumptions about the story are right.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
#47 by The_Joker
2004-03-29 16:23:28
http://www.jackinworld.com
#45 I wasn't joking about the pics though.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
#48 by gaggle
2004-03-29 16:25:54
I have a name! I'm not a number! *stomps foot*
#49 by UncleJeet
2004-03-29 16:30:14
My weekend turned out to be a lot more busy than I thought.  I was too tired Saturday night to feel like writing anything, but I managed to get some UT in for about half an hour!  I'd planned on writing mine last night, but my friend came in with his new (possibly "the one") girlfriend, which then consumed the rest of the night.  I didn't even get a chance to play FarCry at all, after I picked it up on the way home Friday.  Bleh.

Anyway, excuses excuses.  I'm blocking out some time tonight to write it though, so procrastination aside, nothing should interfere.

I'm fighting terrorism by playing violent video games!
#50 by LPMiller
2004-03-29 16:40:41
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Babies take an amazing amount of time away from writing. I have a pretty decent idea, but I haven't had the chance to write it yet. I hope to get to it before the end of the week, but damnit.

Also, I know it's an older game, but why didn't anyone mention BurnOut 2: Point of Impact? Damn, but the crash mode there is a riot.

Patriots don't need grammar or spellings for rid the world and tyranny. - Leslie Nassar, 3/28/2004
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