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T O P I C
These Droids, They Be a Changin...
November 23rd 2003, 03:46 CET by Trolly McTroll

Episode IV: A New Hope
01. The Imperial March has been added to Darth Vader's first appearance on Princess Leia's ship.
02. When Obi-Wan is talking to Luke about his father Anakin's Theme plays in the background and then it turns into the Imperial March as he talks about Vader.
03. The lightsaber effects have been redone and the frame jumps of lightsabers being turned on has been removed.
04. There's a new scene which has been shot during the filming of Episode III in which the Emperor dissolves the Senate.
05. In the Cantina, the Duros (green aliens guys) have been replaced with Neimoidians and some aliens from the prequels have been added.
06. The bleeding arm on the floor in the Cantina has been replaced with a non-bleeding arm because it's now canon that lightsabers cauterize wounds.
07. The original shooting scene between Han and Greedo has been restored.
08. Jabba the Hutt has been given a makeover and Han no longer steps on his tale.
09. In place of R2 wobbling down the stairs to the Falcon's hangar, a CG R2 navigating the stairs like he does in Attack of the Clones was added.
10. The white boxes around space ships have been removed and new CG shots have been added.
11. The scene of the Falcon being chased by the two Star Destroyers was modified. The Falcon now does spinning moves, avoiding the Star Destroyers' fire.
12. When the Death Star destroys Alderaan there's a new scene of Yoda's reaction to the disturbance in the Force that is created by all those deaths and then it cuts to Obi-Wan reacting to it as well.
13. The Dianoga has gotten a CG makeover and were are now able to see more of the creature.
14. The Death Star's paneling and computers have been slightly altered to show similar displays to those in the prequels.
15. The words "Tractor Beam" with Aurebesh lettering.
16. More stormtroopers have been added to the Death Star.
17. Temuera Morrison's voice is being recorded for use with all the stormtroopers.
18. The Obi-Wan/Vader duel has been spruced up. It is much more epic and there is much more movement. A modified version of Duel of the Fates is being considered for the scene.
19. The Death Star plans that are taken from R2 have been updated. When the Rebels are reviewing the Death Star plans they look similar to the plans we see in Attack of the Clones.
20. The Death Star battle is much more epic with more Tie Fighters and more Rebels being blown to bits. We get to see old Naboo starfighters being used by the Rebels.
21. There's a new scene (shot during Episode III) where Darth Vader goes to Coruscant and lands his ship in the same building Count Dooku does at the end of Attack of the Clones. Except now the building is all fixed up and it is now Palpatine's palace. He meets with Palpatine to ask for forgiveness for his failure and inform him of a new potential who is strong in the Force.
22. Chewbacca now gets a medal.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
01. The taun-tauns are now CG.
02. The battle of Hoth is much more epic. We see the Imperial ships land on Hoth and release AT-ATs. The AT-ATs have been sped up a bit. There's a ground battle between the Rebel soldiers and stormtroopers featuring new ships and vehicles.
03. Temuera Morrison's voice is being recorded for the older Boba Fett and all the stormtroopers.
04. The white boxes around space ships have been removed.
05. The slug monster is CG.
06. Ian McDiarmid has refilmed scenes as the Emperor. The conversations between Vader and Palpatine is now longer and features a few connections to the prequels.
07. Yoda's face is now animated in CG allowing more expression of emotions yet his movements remain the same. Also two deleted scenes featuring Yoda instructing Luke have been restored.
08. A new scene was shot in which the stormtroopers, after they capture Han, Leia and Chewie, bring Vader the box containing C-3PO in pieces. Vader orders the stormtroopers to bring the broken droid to Chewbacca's cell so that he can fix him.
09. The lightsaber effects have been redone in certain parts.
10. Luke's fall from Cloud City has been reshot against bluescreen using a stuntman.

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
01. Jabba the Hutt is now a combination of the puppet and CG.
02. The Rancor is CG and looks disgusting as ever.
03. Yoda is CG. Yoda disappears leaving his clothes behind like Obi-Wan now.
04. The ewoks are now mostly CG and there are a lot more of them.
05. The plan is to insert the love theme Across the Stars when Luke is talking with Leia about their mother.
06. Temuera Morrison's like before is now the voice for Boba Fett and all the stormtroopers.
07. In the battle of Endor there are thousands of Ewoks and they are more vicious than there midgets-in-suits counterparts. More bite the dust now.
08. White boxes around ships removed.
09. The black blotches around Palpatine's face are gone.
10. Some of the lightsaber effects have been redone. The shadows that the lightsabers made on the floor are gone.
11. During Anakin's death scene it starts with a sad rendition of the Imperial March and slowly evolves into Anakin's Theme.
12. Sebastion Shaw who played Anakin when he was unmasked has been replaced with Hayden Christenson in make-up to make him look older. Anakin has much more dialogue. He apologizes for the destruction he caused, he thanks his son for turning him back to the light, he tells his son to rebuild the Jedi and he says he loves him and his sister. Just before he dies he says, "It is finished...".
13. We see more planets celebrating at the end of the movie. We see an aged Jar Jar, who is now the leader of the Gungans, on Naboo celebrating with the people of Naboo and the Gungans. We see an old Watto, who is now unable to fly, sitting in a hover chair cheering on Tatooine. During these scenes Across the Stars plays transitioning to the victory celebration music at the Ewok tree village.
14. Anakin's spirit is now played by Hayden Christenson with make-up to make him look his age. He looks on proudly at his son Luke with the spirit of Padme by his side.


Thoughts?
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: These Droids, They Be a Changin...

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#1 by jafd
2003-11-23 04:31:35
I'm blaming all of you. Right now.

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#2 by UncleJeet
2003-11-23 04:35:41
I blame myself.

I'm fighting terrorism by playing violent video games!
#3 by Dumdeedum
2003-11-23 04:51:27
http://www.dumdeedum.com
GREEDO SHOT FIRST!

Rock Lobster!
#4 by EricFate
2003-11-23 04:55:20
I already own the versions of these films that I want.  It just disappoints me that these are not the same versions that Lucas seems to want.

He can tinker with them until the day he dies for all I care.  I had them on laserdisc, I have them on VHS.  Don't need the DVD if the changes wind up adding additional suck.
#5 by jjohnsen
2003-11-23 04:57:23
http://www.johnsenclan.com
I've read on other sites this whole list is false.  Really guys, I'm starting to lose confidence in the internet here.
#6 by Duality
2003-11-23 05:09:52
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
17. Temuera Morrison's voice is being recorded for use with all the stormtroopers.

NO!  Fuck your mothers!

[New Zealander]Look, sah -- droids![/New Zealander]

My life is ruined.

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#7 by Percy Kittenz
2003-11-23 05:18:24
blakcat9@planetquake.com http://www.livejournal.com/users/percykittenz
Let's just pretend that this is the Deus Ex 2 thread instead and continue as normal.

"There is only ONE God:
He is the SUN God:
Ra! Ra! Ra!"
- The Illuminatus Trilogy (Leviathan, Book 4: Beamtenherrschaft)

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Because your philosophy sucks." - Lore Fitzgerald Sjöberg
#8 by BabiG
2003-11-23 05:23:05
Yea, seriously, I thought this was pretty much proved to be a fan wishlist...

"Yall don't wanna to hear me, ya just wanna dance..."
#9 by Your Friend
2003-11-23 05:26:46
Yep, list is fake.

Nothing to see here, move along.

Comment Signature
#10 by Sgt Hulka
2003-11-23 05:40:21
Thank god the list is fake, for this very reason alone "The ewoks are now mostly CG and there are a lot more of them."

Fricken Ewoks!

#11 by "h8ball"
2003-11-23 05:59:32
meet@efnet
hey sgt hulka, do i know you

i didnt thought so but you're so ugly i never saw anyone as ugly as you.
#12 by Duality
2003-11-23 06:13:09
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
Aww, how cute.  A baby troll!

Trolly, DKI, is this little one yours?

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#13 by m0nty
2003-11-23 06:42:45
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Worst. Topic. Evar.
#14 by Mad_Dog
2003-11-23 06:45:10
Star Wars sucks m0nty. Star Trek rocks your world.

Nuf said.
#15 by BobJustBob
2003-11-23 06:52:52
It was pretty obvious that this list was fake, but I want more Ewoks. I love those little guys. Really. It's all fun and games until one of them dies, and then they kick some Imperial ass.

Dood.
#16 by OwenButler
2003-11-23 06:53:22
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
I sure hope they re-issue the Deus Ex 2 demo with all the bugs and crap removed.  I might actually want to play it then.
#17 by BobJustBob
2003-11-23 07:47:37
Hahaha. I just want you all to know how much I am enjoying this whole debacle.

Dood.
#18 by Darkseid-D
2003-11-23 08:49:13
rogerboal@hotmail.com
Funny, this was on AICN months ago, then resurfaced on Something awful, and George Lucas in an interview earlier this week, catagorically denied he was going to be making changes to 4-6.

Lets see what the alleged changes would do, given that Im a complete and utter hardcore Star Wars nutjob, even tho I think SWG is a rotting pile of festering dog puke that I wouldnt wish on Hitler.

Episode IV: A New Hope

01. The Imperial March has been added to Darth Vader's first appearance on Princess Leia's ship.

Possibly true, since the Imp March theme wasnt written til ESB, Lucas has often stated he`d like to have had it in ANH.  However his entry stands as one of the greatest screen introductions to a villain in film history

02. When Obi-Wan is talking to Luke about his father Anakin's Theme plays in the background and then it turns into the Imperial March as he talks about Vader.

Scene does not need this enhancement, too short to carry this much music anyway, again adding ImpMarch someone has issues

03. The lightsaber effects have been redone and the frame jumps of lightsabers being turned on has been removed.

Should have been fixed in the remix, whilst they improved and cleaned it up, they didnt, why do it now (ps lightsabers cast shadows in all the films)

04. There's a new scene which has been shot during the filming of Episode III in which the Emperor dissolves the Senate.

Which Senate?  The Republican Senate is dissolved when Palpatine rises to emperor and he cretes an Imperial Senate, THAT senate is dissolved shortly before Death Star 1 becomes operational.

05. In the Cantina, the Duros (green aliens guys) have been replaced with Neimoidians and some aliens from the prequels have been added.

They already went back and changed the aliens in the Cantina, why redo the work? Also what would the Nemodians be doing on a gangster controlled DESERT world ?

06. The bleeding arm on the floor in the Cantina has been replaced with a non-bleeding arm because it's now canon that lightsabers cauterize wounds.

Possible edit, but again why wasnt it already done in the remix ?

07. The original shooting scene between Han and Greedo has been restored.

Fanbois shriek enough about this, change made in the remix, why unmake it ?

08. Jabba the Hutt has been given a makeover and Han no longer steps on his tale.

The remixed this scene from a human actor, short of going back in time or finding a clone of Harrison Ford, thats probably as good as theyre going to get, the tail stepping is a bit OTT, but since they did the digital bounce thing to get him round the back of the stand in actor, its unclear how they can remove it again.

09. In place of R2 wobbling down the stairs to the Falcon's hangar, a CG R2 navigating the stairs like he does in Attack of the Clones was added.

Zero point in this, why didnt he use them after the crash landing on tatooine, and its not wobbling, he uses the same stair mount/dismount in episode 2.

10. The white boxes around space ships have been removed and new CG shots have been added.

They already fix that in the remix

11. The scene of the Falcon being chased by the two Star Destroyers was modified. The Falcon now does spinning moves, avoiding the Star Destroyers' fire.

unecessary, this would be a `look what we can do with cgi shot`, but grudgingly possible

12. When the Death Star destroys Alderaan there's a new scene of Yoda's reaction to the disturbance in the Force that is created by all those deaths and then it cuts to Obi-Wan reacting to it as well.

Why?  Yoda doesnt crop up (again) til ESB, why foreshadow him here, left as is, the scene still works, meaning Yoda being alive or dead can be left hanging in Ep 3.

13. The Dianoga has gotten a CG makeover and were are now able to see more of the creature.

Already had a shot at fixing it, why another?

14. The Death Star's paneling and computers have been slightly altered to show similar displays to those in the prequels.

Gibberish, similar to what?

15. The words "Tractor Beam" with Aurebesh lettering.

Minor detail, and the lettering appears on the deathstar computer screen when R2 highlights them for Ben

16. More stormtroopers have been added to the Death Star.

Done this already, vis instead of 6-8 stormies in a dead end when Han charges them, you get a hangar full, why go back and do it again?

17. Temuera Morrison's voice is being recorded for use with all the stormtroopers.

This is assuming Clonetroopers == Stormtroopers, which is hard to believe as the clonetroopers can actually hit things. Possible I suppose.

18. The Obi-Wan/Vader duel has been spruced up. It is much more epic and there is much more movement. A modified version of Duel of the Fates is being considered for the scene.

They did tidy most of it up, but missed bits (like Vaders saber still goes clear twice) and a more `jedi` like fight would be interesting (since prowse screwed up so much of the fight), but youre still seeing a mechanical cripple fight an old man, a fight more akin to two kendo masters dueling would be better than  another duel of the fates.  Also given that duel of the fates was NOT used in the Obi Wan + Anakin vs Dooku OR Yoda vs Dooku, why would it appear once more in EpIV ?  Id presume more that the music playing when Anakin and Obi Wan go at it will be re-used, possibly downtempo`d for IV over III, in much the same way Augies Municpial March in Ep1 is the emperors theme lifted and octave and 2.5x bpm.

19. The Death Star plans that are taken from R2 have been updated. When the Rebels are reviewing the Death Star plans they look similar to the plans we see in Attack of the Clones.

Gosh, red dots instead of green/grey dots, and the episode 2 design looks remarkably similar to what was shown in ANH, just smaller better res.

20. The Death Star battle is much more epic with more Tie Fighters and more Rebels being blown to bits. We get to see old Naboo starfighters being used by the Rebels.

The Y-wing was considered old and out of date when the rebels were using them, the X-wing was midway through its product cycle (canonical source books), the naboo fighters would be 18-20 years + however old they were product cycle, todays military rarely has a unit in service over 10 years (bar strategic heavy bombers), why bring them in back, bar perhaps as a wreck in the Sandcrawler.  They already went back and added in more X-wings and Y wings to the attack approach.

21. There's a new scene (shot during Episode III) where Darth Vader goes to Coruscant and lands his ship in the same building Count Dooku does at the end of Attack of the Clones. Except now the building is all fixed up and it is now Palpatine's palace. He meets with Palpatine to ask for forgiveness for his failure and inform him of a new potential who is strong in the Force.

Why would this be necessary ANH ? Just as a way to cram the emperor into the full series? Seeing Vader humbled like that would remove a lot from the character at that part in the arc, especially as non canon books say thats the point he lost his last real limb when the emperor servered it as punishment.

22. Chewbacca now gets a medal.

Political correctness is not a good reason to edit a movie.

Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

01. The taun-tauns are now CG.

Could already have been fixed, was for some scenes, more rework

02. The battle of Hoth is much more epic. We see the Imperial ships land on Hoth and release AT-ATs. The AT-ATs have been sped up a bit. There's a ground battle between the Rebel soldiers and stormtroopers featuring new ships and vehicles.

Why rewrite the battle, the rebels got an ass kicking, just one more ass kicking in a series of ass kickings after their flukey victory at Dantooine.  This would just be an excuse to say `hay remember this scene happened in Episode 2, only with the stubby at-at prototypes?`

03. Temuera Morrison's voice is being recorded for the older Boba Fett and all the stormtroopers.

Again Clonetroopers being assumed to become Stormtroopers, there would be a lot of pissed off fanbois gnashing and wailing at Lucas for writing out Jeremy Bullocks `role`.  However, this I could see happening to maintain continuity across the series.

04. The white boxes around space ships have been removed.

been there, done that, fixed the transparencies in the snowspeeders already.

05. The slug monster is CG.

Not like the puppet looks bad, especially since it was cg touched up in the remixes

06. Ian McDiarmid has refilmed scenes as the Emperor. The conversations between Vader and Palpatine is now longer and features a few connections to the prequels.

Plausible, as the makeup and acting in those scenes was godawful, however theyve already gone past it once,

07. Yoda's face is now animated in CG allowing more expression of emotions yet his movements remain the same. Also two deleted scenes featuring Yoda instructing Luke have been restored.

Theyd need to go back and fix Yoda in Episode 1 then, since he was a puppet there for the most part, albeit a stoned looking one.

08. A new scene was shot in which the stormtroopers, after they capture Han, Leia and Chewie, bring Vader the box containing C-3PO in pieces. Vader orders the stormtroopers to bring the broken droid to Chewbacca's cell so that he can fix him.

Why ? canon film and books have Chewie finding him in the recycling area, to suggest Vader ordering the stormies to bring it to them is akin to saying `Hey Vader recognises this fucker` as that stupid bastard protocol droid he built as a snotling, oh let him have an emotional break down as he remembers his mommy, wahhh fuck`n waahhh`, pointless.

09. The lightsaber effects have been redone in certain parts.

Again, mostly done in the remix, not much to fix (shadows are intentional), however Prowse, surprise surprise, did flunk quite a few of the moves, plus Vaders Helmet wobbles like a fat man riding over cobblestones toward the `disarming` part.

10. Luke's fall from Cloud City has been reshot against bluescreen using a stuntman.

Then they`d fix Lukes jumping off the carbonfreezing unit and the `BOING` as he pops back into lower left screen from the trampoline he lands on.

Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

01. Jabba the Hutt is now a combination of the puppet and CG.

Need to go full cgi to retain continunity across 3 films.

02. The Rancor is CG and looks disgusting as ever.

They had a chance to fix it already, they didnt, and gave us a fucking dance number...

03. Yoda is CG. Yoda disappears leaving his clothes behind like Obi-Wan now.

Plausible, if they explain how a jedi can `give himself to the force`, they need to tie up why Qui gon had to be roasted and Yoda depopped with his clothes on.

04. The ewoks are now mostly CG and there are a lot more of them.

Possible, but the query is why, had there been a lot of life on Endors Moon, the empire would have exterminated them.

05. The plan is to insert the love theme Across the Stars when Luke is talking with Leia about their mother.

Wrong tone of mood music for this scene, Leia`s theme currently plays, its much less intrusive

06. Temuera Morrison's like before is now the voice for Boba Fett and all the stormtroopers.

ehhh, Im not repeating myself again

07. In the battle of Endor there are thousands of Ewoks and they are more vicious than there midgets-in-suits counterparts. More bite the dust now.

Hmm, hundreds of the little furry bastards dying like the gungans did ?  that I could live with, so long as they suffer a variety of horrible painful deaths

08. White boxes around ships removed.

remix already did it

09. The black blotches around Palpatine's face are gone.

those were meant to be dark side manifestations

10. Some of the lightsaber effects have been redone. The shadows that the lightsabers made on the floor are gone.

Go back and watch Episode 1 and 2, note the lightsabers all cast shadows there too, deliberate effect, especially since Lucas had Nick Park go to such lengths to balance the hilts of the prop lightsabers so they are the centre of mass and thus react believably when swung around (energy blades have zero mass)

11. During Anakin's death scene it starts with a sad rendition of the Imperial March and slowly evolves into Anakin's Theme.

No, NO NO NO NO NO, that 25 second tail down from the imperial march into the keynote being played softly on the piano is one of John Williams best compositions, would bastardise the scene

12. Sebastion Shaw who played Anakin when he was unmasked has been replaced with Hayden Christenson in make-up to make him look older. Anakin has much more dialogue. He apologizes for the destruction he caused, he thanks his son for turning him back to the light, he tells his son to rebuild the Jedi and he says he loves him and his sister. Just before he dies he says, "It is finished...".

Unwriting sebastian shaw from ROTJ ? I guess that means theyll also have Hayden as the blue ghost at the end with Ben and Yoda, the described death scene would make it play out worse than Trinitys in the matrix, youd go `would you please just fucking die already`

13. We see more planets celebrating at the end of the movie. We see an aged Jar Jar, who is now the leader of the Gungans, on Naboo celebrating with the people of Naboo and the Gungans. We see an old Watto, who is now unable to fly, sitting in a hover chair cheering on Tatooine. During these scenes Across the Stars plays transitioning to the victory celebration music at the Ewok tree village.

L Ron Hubbard in a cupboard, who ever wrote this shit has a hard on for `across the stars`, the Rebel March (played at the start of the medal scene) would be just fine for here, adding in nods to the characters from the prequels, ehhhhhhhh could do it I suppose.

14. Anakin's spirit is now played by Hayden Christenson with make-up to make him look his age. He looks on proudly at his son Luke with the spirit of Padme by his side.

Ok, query, When the FUCK did Padme become you know, a Jedi ? This bit alone screams `fanboi masturbation fantasy`


Time will tell I guess, personally however, Id like to see Lucas make episode 7-9 based on `Dark Force Rising`, only entirely CGI, hire Weta to work WITH Industrial Light & Magic and bring back the remaining original cast to provide the voicework.

Do not go gently into that good night.
Old age should burn and rage at the close of day.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
#19 by OwenButler
2003-11-23 08:53:38
http://blog.owenbutler.org/
Your post burns my eyes.
#20 by Darkseid-D
2003-11-23 09:00:53
rogerboal@hotmail.com
Unfortunately, I wished to consume your soul like a vol au vent at a high class soiree, it appears I must apply myself further !

Do not go gently into that good night.
Old age should burn and rage at the close of day.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
#21 by UncleJeet
2003-11-23 09:28:11
Sweet mother of mercy.

I'm fighting terrorism by playing violent video games!
#22 by Gunp01nt
2003-11-23 10:48:10
supersimon33@hotmail.com
uh, Ds, since the list is bullshit, why comment on it in such length?

Though I'm sure glad it is bullshit. I would've personally desintegrated Lucas if he Ep1-ified the old trilogy in the way the topic depicts. Hell, the only thing missing on that list is a JarJar cameo FFS.

Electroclash=love
#23 by Neo-Reaper
2003-11-23 11:20:49
neoreaper@excite.com http://octobermoon.homeip.net
Maybe I just don't know what FFS means, but there is a Jar Jar cameo on that list.

"Dream of me... and maybe, just maybe, this nightmare will end."
#24 by Creole Ned
2003-11-23 12:20:51
FFS = For Fuck's Sake

I read Ds's entire post. While the list may be a fake, I do find it interesting to ponder what Lucas may or may not change in the DVD release of the original trilogy. I'm fairly certain he'll change things above and beyond the Special Editions that were released in '97, mostly to either clean up effects or help continuity with the second trilogy.

Given the reaction to the whole "Greedo shoots first" thing, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he changed that back. Or gave Greedo a walkie talkie instead. Or something.

It's late, I finally finished Halo, the first game I've actually played through to completion since Jedi Knight 2. Yes, I suck as a gamer. Halo was pretty fun, though.

"I don't bemoan the great paste" - LPMiller
#25 by Sgt Hulka
2003-11-23 13:26:53
h8ball, nope, don't know ya, and yep, I be one ugly mofo, just ask yotsuya.

#26 by Jibble
2003-11-23 16:54:48
#22 Gunp01nt
uh, Ds, since the list is bullshit, why comment on it in such length?

There's legions of people on the Internet for which this is a hobby or profession (commenting on total bullshit).

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#27 by Duality
2003-11-23 17:14:15
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
Ds is a professional!

Duality [bunge shot bonus] +10G
#28 by Darkseid-D
2003-11-23 17:53:58
rogerboal@hotmail.com
I am both a professional and a Star War nutjob.

I -so- want Kotor, but little things like a blown water pump on the car have to be paid for first :\

Do not go gently into that good night.
Old age should burn and rage at the close of day.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
#29 by CheesyPoof
2003-11-24 04:45:12
This list was a good troll job, too bad, can't give tmt much cred for a copy/paste job, byt there was enough nonsense in the list to tell that it was a fake.
#30 by Bailey
2003-11-24 08:54:12
KOTOR made my eyes burn, not figuratively, but literally. Got-damn bleeding light effects in a dark room are painful.

re: Avatar Icon
#31 by m0nty
2003-11-24 10:19:46
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
In other news, Doom for Columbine has morphed into an anime schoolgirl revenge fantasy with upskirt ninja BulletTime gameplay complete with a planned MTV trailer. Plans are to release the code via GPL, but also to sell it on CDs.

This is the stupidest thing on the Intarweb evar. I am in awe.
#32 by BobJustBob
2003-11-24 10:31:43
That is the coolest thing ever. I hope whatshisname the "developer" comes back to PC for a second round.

Dood.
#33 by Neale
2003-11-24 10:44:51
neale@pimurho.co.uk www.pimurho.co.uk
So what the fuck does this have to do with Columbine at all?

You can't derail this train of idiocy, Shadarr. Not even with a big fat cow of logic on the tracks. - Bailey
#34 by m0nty
2003-11-24 10:58:46
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Neale, don't try to understand it. Just enjoy the pretty colours.
#35 by deadlock
2003-11-24 11:15:04
http://www.deadlocked.org/
From m0nty's link:
When enemies shoot at you, you have to click on each of their incoming bullets. While at first this is a daunting task, you can also evade bullets by simply moving your character out of the way.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! If I didn't know this guy was serious, I'd regard this as the work of a comic genius!

Another bomb went of in Dublin today killing seven and injuring thirty.
That is the third time in three months, bringing the death total to
twenty-two.  It is suspected that.

Er... more like the second time in 30 years, buddy. You're thinking of Norn Iron, where bombs are a rarity nowadays.

Just when you thought that Lord Nekurll couldn't get any more stupid... Also, how's he going to ban the entire Intarweb from his site, now that it's hosted by Sourceforge.

"You know you are doing art when everyone has an opinion of what you're doing." - Lexx, creator of the supremely stupid Doom for Columbine mod.
#36 by bago
2003-11-24 12:34:45
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
Strange that there's more fatalities in Ireland this week than Iraq.

Lesson to be learned? Stay out of countries that start with an I. They're bad luck.

You DARE to worship a god other than Allah? Allah does not know who this "Ctulhu" character is, kufr, but when he finds out he is going to kick that Jew deity down a flight of fucking stairs.
#37 by deadlock
2003-11-24 12:47:51
http://www.deadlocked.org/
BAgo:

Sorry, that was a quote from the Doom For Columbine site; there hasn't been a bomb in Dublin since the early seventies. I was trying to point out that The Troubles were localised to Northern Ireland and even then, they were pretty much limited to a small area of that country. The Republic of Ireland is more known for its corrupt politicians and absolutely heinous planning than it is for political unrest and division.

"You know you are doing art when everyone has an opinion of what you're doing." - Lexx, creator of the supremely stupid Doom for Columbine mod.
#38 by zimbardo_ugly
2003-11-24 13:44:25
zimbardo_ugly@hotmail.com
#36 by bago

Lesson to be learned? Stay out of countries that start with an I. They're bad luck.


Now I remembered I never posted this link here

"Warez non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem"
#39 by "Geekboy"
2003-11-24 14:37:20
Monty: Wrong again.

This release is far off, since Doom 3 won't ship until 2005. Much could change between now and then. You shouldn't speculate on things you know nothing about. Just because something is posted at our site, doesn't mean it's where the team is going. The documentation you cited was old, and I had been meaning to take it off the site for a few weeks now. The story will be similar to what was there, but I think your claims are somewhat inaccurate.

For example: We're providing the DooM for Columbine mod on CD, *and mirrors*. The CD is for convenience, and so that some people can support us with a small donation included in the price of the CD. You'll be able to download it too, but I'm not forking out the cash for hosting this huge file, which will likely be around a gig or so, with cinematics, music, levels, models, textures...etc. We'll likely release it as a Bit Torrent as well.

The main character's family was murdered. She (Kochira Koso) narrowly escapes and sets out to punish those responsible, not with violence, because she is a pacifist, but by humiliating evil. The people who had her family killed are connected to a company called World Media Corp, who had her family whacked for a reason -- they were trying to kill the main character Kochira Koso. Because Kochria is a pacifist, she believes the way to handle violence is through other means. She sets out to destroy World Media Corp, through bad publicity, and pie-in-the-face type gags.

So basically the gameplay is like this: race through obsticles to get to a certain place in the map, where one of the many people we're lampooning will be and do something to them, like stick flypaper to their bald heads or slap them silly with a giant flyswatter. (hence the graphic with Dubya on our page)

Along the way, the connection to Columbine will become evident, when you get to lampoon a cartoon mockup based on Charlton Heston, who is giving a pro-gun-rally speach after the Columbine massacre, at the school.

That's an early sketch of what we're doing, like it or not.
#40 by yotsuya
2003-11-24 14:40:29
Oh God.

"YES!!  You see people, THAT'S why he's the Vice-President of A/V Services here at Respawn Games.  Yotsuya ALWAYS unleashes the fucking fury!" - Warren Marshall
#41 by Trolly McTroll
2003-11-24 14:44:38
#39 "Geekboy"

The main character's family was murdered. She (Kochira Koso) narrowly escapes and sets out to punish those responsible, not with violence, because she is a pacifist, but by humiliating evil.

So basically the gameplay is like this: race through obsticles to get to a certain place in the map, where one of the many people we're lampooning will be and do something to them, like stick flypaper to their bald heads or slap them silly with a giant flyswatter.

That's an early sketch of what we're doing, like it or not.


So the game is gay? I see.  How gay.

Good luck with it faygalas

"..and Trolly McTroll is the best name EVER. I laugh every time I see it."  - ZEP
" If i ever have a daughter, I'm going to name her Trolly. - The_Joker
"Fuck are you stupid. Kiwi is a bird. Fucking moron. " - lwf
#42 by yotsuya
2003-11-24 14:48:14
BTW, I don't like it. Sounds like one of you went to see Kill Bill and was duly inspired.

"YES!!  You see people, THAT'S why he's the Vice-President of A/V Services here at Respawn Games.  Yotsuya ALWAYS unleashes the fucking fury!" - Warren Marshall
#43 by Gunp01nt
2003-11-24 14:56:42
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Geekboy:
Just because something is posted at our site, doesn't mean it's where the team is going.


So true, because even the team itself doesn't know where it's going.

The fact that it's been posted on your site shows that the story is definitely an indication of where the team is or was going at a certain point in the development cycle. And that in itself is pretty stupid already.

Besides that, is it really possible for you guys to release the mod under the GPL? If it's going to be a Doom 3 mod, it's going to make heavy and direct use of the game. In fact, the mod will be directly linked onto the game and the game itself is not GPL.

"The need to be observed and understood was once satisfied by God. Now we can implement the same functionality with data-mining algorithms."
#44 by Neale
2003-11-24 15:01:32
neale@pimurho.co.uk www.pimurho.co.uk
Doom3 in 2005? Unless you know something that no-one else does, wasn't it slated for a 2004 release? I can't imagine what would take another year to do.

You can't derail this train of idiocy, Shadarr. Not even with a big fat cow of logic on the tracks. - Bailey
#45 by deadlock
2003-11-24 15:12:02
http://www.deadlocked.org/
He still hasn't answered the pertinent question: now that D4C (as it's affectionately known) is hosted on Sourceforge, how is going to ban the entire internet for their (inevitably) derisory laughter?

"You know you are doing art when everyone has an opinion of what you're doing." - Lexx, creator of the supremely stupid Doom for Columbine mod.
#46 by Warren Marshall
2003-11-24 15:12:23
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
And it just keeps getting worse...

Respawn Games
Open your mind, let the beatings begin.
#47 by Neale
2003-11-24 15:18:13
neale@pimurho.co.uk www.pimurho.co.uk
Actually, Warren, I think he has a great deal to teach other modmakers. Like, what not to do. At all. Ever.

You can't derail this train of idiocy, Shadarr. Not even with a big fat cow of logic on the tracks. - Bailey
#48 by Jibble
2003-11-24 15:19:53
Today's dumbass game idea of the day is brought to you by Unemployebrex™!

When you've got no job, no friends, and no hope of ever contributing to society, Unemployebrex™ can make you feel useful while you make textures for your "innovative" and "original"* Doom 3 mod.

*Original does not mean good.

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
#49 by jafd
2003-11-24 15:23:05
I was on hiatus from this site when this guy first came around p1mping this mod. Just imagine my point of view now!

"It was fucking RPGotY, fucker!"
#50 by Jibble
2003-11-24 15:23:15
**Users of Unemployebrex™ may suffer from hair loss, weight gain, inability to communicate with other human beings in a reasonably tactful or meaningful manner, loss of bowel control due to obstruction by cheetos, poorly thought out ideas, lack of cohesion with "team members", poorly lit space to work in due to use of parents' basement, and general feelings of disdain for people who "just don't understand you".

The five percent nation of harmful free radicals
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