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porn
January 4th 2003, 09:21 CET by Morn

Latest web trend: making pictures of your half-naked girlfriend and uploading them to DeviantArt.com, where people will tell you how moving they are, even if they really fucking suck.

Discuss!
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#1 by Ergo
2003-01-04 09:23:52
First? I think this is my actual first. At any rate, you won't see my wife naked on the web.

There are no bigger liars than quacks except for their patients. -Benjamin Franklin

DVDs
#2 by Eric T. Cheng
2003-01-04 09:35:52
erictcheng@hotmail.com
At any rate, you won't see my wife naked on the web.


...and this is a good thing. ;) (Just kidding, Ergo!)

Kilt Wearing Pixel Pushing Monkey Boy
IMDB Entry
DVD Collection
#3 by Creole Ned
2003-01-04 09:39:52
You will also not see my wife naked on the web.

Carry on.

"I don't bemoan the great paste" - LPMiller
#4 by Dethstryk
2003-01-04 09:59:56
jemartin@tcainternet.com
I'm not married.

#5 by Sinister Geezer
2003-01-04 10:00:45
Lots of good pics there. Should keep Planetcrap's illiterati busy for a while.
#6 by Dethstryk
2003-01-04 10:01:45
jemartin@tcainternet.com
I like DeviantArt. Hell, I'll probably start watching the photography section, because a lot of them look like they'll make good wallpapers.

#7 by Bailey
2003-01-04 10:13:03
Deviant Art apparently equals cunny art. Also, morn abuses his topic pushing privileges. Finally, everyone is stupid but me.

Ned

Your wife wears pants.

Feh.
#8 by lwf
2003-01-04 10:24:39
I haven't found much porn yet, but there's an awful lot of "dead grrl bleeding on the floor" shots. shocking!

Open 'em wide
#9 by Bailey
2003-01-04 10:27:38
Snuff porn is the new alternative art.

Feh.
#10 by ProStyle
2003-01-04 10:55:49
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
DeviantArt is pretty neat, and I've never bothered to look at the photography section; because I dont care to. The reason I dont care to is because I beleive it is not easy to distinguish any sort of talent or finesse in the art of photography; the process is so simple and devoid of any prerequisites besides some basic lighting concepts to assure reasonable quality that the most mediocre attempts generally aren't all that distinguishable from the most amazingly artistic photograph.

I'm like a quote out of context...
#11 by Matt Davis
2003-01-04 11:01:30
http://looroll.com
What?

#12 by Sinister Geezer
2003-01-04 11:03:24
the process is so simple and devoid of any prerequisites besides some basic lighting concepts to assure reasonable quality that the most mediocre attempts generally aren't all that distinguishable from the most amazingly artistic photograph.


Psst. Someone tell David Bailey he's been rumbled.
#13 by crash
2003-01-04 12:17:07
Creole Ned:

You will also not see my wife naked on the web.

Carry on.

just wanted to let you know you owe me a new monitor, because i just spewed diet pepsi all over mine laughin at this. smooooth.

By this time tomorrow we can be doing BODY SHOTS off HOOKERS in some MEXICAN HELLHOLE
#14 by Marsh Davies
2003-01-04 12:18:26
www.verbalchilli.com
ProStyle -

Have you ever tried photography?


There is so much more to it than point and click.

- Marsh -
#15 by Marsh Davies
2003-01-04 12:21:43
www.verbalchilli.com
Most of those photographs are pretty good. Only a few of them have naked women in them. I don't know what morn's complaining about.

If only deviantART wasn't the slowest site EVAR, I might visit it more often.

- Marsh -
#16 by Matt Davis
2003-01-04 13:12:13
http://looroll.com
I'm with morn on this one, amateurs complimenting amateurs is all well and good, but the amateurs can't tell the difference between themselves and the more professional shots.

It's almost like a site full of trolls all trolling each oth- oh wait...

#17 by deadlock
2003-01-04 14:54:12
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Marsh:

It's annoyingly slow, even on the E1 we have in work.

Despite that, I like the site, it's great for unusual wallpaper and so on. There are far too many wanky 'goth' thingies on there for my liking though.

I've even contributed my own crap photos. One of my girlfriend, though she wasn't naked. Arm fetishists might enjoy it.

there's stains on the carpet and crap on the pavement
----
glue
#18 by Trebz
2003-01-04 14:55:18
http://www.bleedingego.co.uk/
#10 I've browsed this site for years but never been bothered to post a comment, however your comment inspired me into action, just so I could say I have never read a more niave or completely uninformed post. Ever. Except perhaps anything Warren says.

I don't know much about photography but its an awful lot more than how you describe it. You've got shutter speeds, aperture sizes, lighting conditions, lenses and all that crap, good photography requires patience and a lot of knowledge on the subject. Sure, you might get lucky occasionally and crack off a good photo, but on the whole most snaps people take are very amateur.

/me runs for the hills for fear of flaming.
#19 by deadlock
2003-01-04 14:55:29
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Matt Davis:

Seriously, what's wrong with amateurs complimenting/critiquing each other's work? That's how peer review works, after all.

there's stains on the carpet and crap on the pavement
----
glue
#20 by deadlock
2003-01-04 14:59:22
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Trebz:
Sure, you might get lucky occasionally and crack off a good photo, but on the whole most snaps people take are very amateur.

Bearing in mind, of course, that David Bailey doesn't take one shot and then it's 'job done'. Professionals like David Bailey, etc. often take hundreds (sometimes thousands) of shots in every session and possibly only ever use one or two.

there's stains on the carpet and crap on the pavement
----
glue
#21 by Matt Davis
2003-01-04 15:07:01
http://looroll.com
I have no problems with peers commenting, but people as a whole are misguided, they lie because they want to say something positive even if they don't mean it because they want positive comments on thier work in return. Then people start to get delusions and think they can become professional and start wasting even more effort on it when its quite plainly obvious that its a step in the wrong direction.

Haggle gaggle everyones an armchair photographer.

#22 by deadlock
2003-01-04 15:18:13
http://www.deadlocked.org/
That's were realism and humility come in. I submitted a few pics to DeviantArt because I liked the idea of having something up there and also because I wanted a small bit of feedback. I wanted someone to say 'you know, that's a nice pic, but if you tried this, this and this, it might be a little or a lot better.'

I think that you may be reading a lot more into DeviantArt than there is though, Matt.

there's stains on the carpet and crap on the pavement
----
glue
#23 by bago
2003-01-04 15:23:06
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
Well, you can see naked pics of my girlfriend online...

There are only 10 types of people in the world - those that understand binary and those that don't.
#24 by Matt Davis
2003-01-04 15:23:11
http://looroll.com
I highly doubt it, I try not to read too deep into anything on the internet, especially sites like deviantart, where the signal to noise ratio is massively out of proportion compared to most other community sites.

I don't have a problem with sites like deviantart, they have their place and obviously theres a market for them, its just not my kind of thing. I think its plainly obvious from my own site what my kind of thing is.

#25 by deadlock
2003-01-04 15:28:33
http://www.deadlocked.org/
The difference with your site though, is that anyone can upload to DeviantArt and their submission is there for all to see instantaneously. Someone moderates, but no-one has to approve submissions. Obviously there's going to be more rubbish and shite than on your site, but the upside is that there's also more quality stuff to be found. Unfortunately, you've gotta search hard for it...

there's stains on the carpet and crap on the pavement
----
glue
#26 by Duality
2003-01-04 16:01:30
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
I'm going to upload a picture of a flower from my mom's garden ... just to be different!

But anyway ... this speaks to me ... speaks to me like Greg's cat.
#27 by lwf
2003-01-04 16:04:02
you guys are great, and talented, i love everybody's work, keep it up, keep reaching for the stars everyone.

Open 'em wide
#28 by Matt Davis
2003-01-04 16:21:56
http://looroll.com
deadlock,

You don't need to point it out to me, I made it plainly obvious I understood that. What I said was that its just not my kind of thing.

#29 by jjohnsen
2003-01-04 16:30:53
http://www.johnsenclan.com
I don't think blood is that red.

#30 by LPMiller
2003-01-04 17:25:02
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
I think we have some art snobs here.

I dunno from lighting, and god knows if I take a good picture it's because someone else was using the camera, but some of those pictures are rather nice.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#31 by Marsh Davies
2003-01-04 17:27:23
www.verbalchilli.com
Obviously there is going to be a lot of attention seeking and mutual brown-nosing... but if the site is also host to a large number of good artists then I really couldn't care. It's not like I have to read the comments; it's not like I have to look at the shit art. The good art is pretty easy to pick out, or would be, if the site wasn't soooo fucking slow.

- Marsh -
#32 by Marsh Davies
2003-01-04 17:28:04
www.verbalchilli.com
In more important news... I just bought JK2 - suddenly realised, having watched Attack of The Clones last night, that my calling in life was decapitate people with glowing sticks and fire lightning from my fingers.

So far, so very mediocre. One thing that is really getting on my nips is that infuriating auto-aim, that appears not to have any on/off option in the settings. Often means I can't do the sneaky, darting pot-shots from around corners etc. etc., because my reticle will leap in a direction I'm not expecting. Any ideas how to turn this damn thing off? Or does it become useful later?

- Marsh -
#33 by Nemesis
2003-01-04 17:31:59
nemesis@unholy-trinity.co.uk http://www.unholy-trinity.co.uk
cg_dynamicCrosshair 0 in the console should solve your problems, annoys the living hell out of me as well.

You're twisting my words....by using their correct meaning.
#34 by Gunp01nt
2003-01-04 17:43:57
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Marsh:
once you get the lightsaber, and learn to work with the various force abilities, the game gets much better. I really liked it, but it is a game that requires some time to get into. though the whole Star Wars setting kinda gripped me into it from the beginning :)

Actually, I don't know anything about the ladies either. Wait! I mean, I do! I mean... WGHT! JHGT! Yes I'm Awesome!
#35 by Caryn
2003-01-04 17:54:28
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I dunno, I like this one (one of the nudes). I don't think they all suck. But sure, there's definitely a lot of "aren't we all artistic genuises?" posts, as there will be on any site like DeviantArt (a site I like). You get that in any kind of writing forum, too; 90% of the critiques you get are, "I love your writing, this story speaks to me! It's fantastic!" Even if it's utter crap and even YOU know it. The other 10%, if it's a good group, will be honest critiques that you can actually use.

*shrug* It's not a site really designed for professionals, and I don't know that these people are claiming to be that. I think it's all kept in context, and I don't really care if the pictures are from pros or not; if I like them, I like them.

A shlemiel is the one who spills the soup. A shlump is the one who gets the soup spilled on him.
#36 by Foodbunny
2003-01-04 18:01:47
foodbunny@attbi.com http://www.foodbunny.com
Bright red tempra paint looks nothing like actual blood.  Especially not in the quantities being depicted here.

It won't have any impact on DNF.  Nothing really does.
#37 by yotsuya
2003-01-04 18:08:33
Hugin should post some of his pictures there.

Lust can never be satisfied with a pink highlighter
#38 by LesJarvis
2003-01-04 18:12:20
Ignoring the requisite goth trappings, pictures of girls looking at their own breasts just make me giggle for some reason.  It's just silly.

"The internet has gone all fiddle faddle foo."
-lwf
#39 by mgns
2003-01-04 18:15:33
I'm sure the collected visitors at deviantart cries themselves to a cold-sweating sleep because planetcrap bites their thumb at their hobby...

And as for the back-patting, how is that different from most other messageboards, including this one?

Caryn, I like that shot too.

'd offer up a brick to the back of your head boy, if I were Cain.
#40 by Warren Marshall
2003-01-04 18:18:00
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Reading the comments on the pic Caryn posted, I was reminded of how most of the population can't type the word "lighting".  For some reason, most times it comes out as "lightning".  Odd that ...

Put on your two step shoes, lose the blues and dance like it's year zero.
#41 by Caryn
2003-01-04 18:20:19
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
Also, I think this one is really cool. The guy actually went to the trouble of making a box with the proper flourescent lighting that he wanted, and it looks like it really paid off. Judging from this image, it looks like the guy could do some nice professional work.

A shlemiel is the one who spills the soup. A shlump is the one who gets the soup spilled on him.
#42 by Matt Davis
2003-01-04 18:22:32
http://looroll.com
My main problem with deviantart has been when people have used my own work on the site and pretended it was theirs or uploaded it because I don't put my stuff up on there, and because they were an active member of the site they did it 'for the community'.

I've had a hard enough time protecting my work, most of which I've taken offline now, both sites designs and art, if theres anything that these sites should teach first and foremost is ownership and copyright in plain english.

Other than that I think devart is a good community site, it serves its purpose well, it gives talent a chance to shine, but has become something of a victim of its own success as even good work in many of the categories is difficult to find from all the nonsense thats in there.

#43 by ...an ethereal being...
2003-01-04 18:29:07
The site would be faster if it didn't have so many animated gifs on each comment page.  Many of them are 10-15k each.

Read, Understand, Post: Choose any two.
#44 by Warren Marshall
2003-01-04 18:37:36
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Broadband is your friend.

Put on your two step shoes, lose the blues and dance like it's year zero.
#45 by Caryn
2003-01-04 18:37:44
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I think my main problem with sites like this is the preponderance of "artsy girlfriend photos" where the subject is always a petite girl with short black hair, white skin, and pointy features. It's as if every aspiring photographer is required to date a woman like this and photograph her.

I'm not jealous because I don't look like this, and while I understand that this subject material usually provides a ready-made contrast that works well for photography, I'd love to see some of these guys get away from always choosing this model type. I'd love to see them choose something completely different. A striking redhead, maybe, or a beautiful black woman. Just fewer goth girlfriend pics, please.

A shlemiel is the one who spills the soup. A shlump is the one who gets the soup spilled on him.
#46 by Foodbunny
2003-01-04 18:39:02
foodbunny@attbi.com http://www.foodbunny.com
The box one is very cool.

It won't have any impact on DNF.  Nothing really does.
#47 by chris
2003-01-04 19:09:50
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
It's as if every aspiring photographer is required to date a woman like this and photograph her.


... hurrying up and getting my new camera.

Actually, the girl in question isn't terribly cute (BANGS ARE BAD). But I think the reason there's a reason you see such a proliferation of these shots: Who's more likely to dress up in leather (or strip) and vamp for the camera? A punk-y goth-y chick, or the sweet little redhead next door?

Many women who dress like that are already looking for attention to begin with, so they're easy subjects to find, and you don't have to spend half your time either convincing them to even get in front of the camera, or reassuring them that they don't look terrible once they do.

-chris
#48 by chris
2003-01-04 19:10:50
cwb@shaithis.com http://www.cerebraldebris.com
"the reason there's a reason"

... YEAH!

-chris
#49 by ...an ethereal being...
2003-01-04 19:29:01
Broadband is your friend.


True, but even on a cable modem that site is slow.  Serving up that many image requests per page is going to slow any site down. especially if it is CPU and/or bandwidth starved.  The animations detract from what should be the main focus of the page, the photo and the comments.

"petite girl with short black hair, white skin, and pointy features"  Aspiring to look like Bettie Page and/or reproducing her photos has been popular for how long?

Read, Understand, Post: Choose any two.
#50 by Leslie Nassar
2003-01-04 19:30:17
http://departmentofinternets.com
I like those things on paper that look like stuff you see with your own goo-filled eyeballs.

ProStyle: Outstanding troll.  Very nicely done!

"If we allowed everyone who wanted to drop their pants and moon police officers, we are undermining the authority of the police."
-- Senior Sergeant Michael Purcell, police prosecutor
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