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Vote Duke Nukem Forever!
December 8th 2002, 13:48 CET by Charles

Wired Magazine is asking for submissions for their annual Vaporware Awards.  

Year in and year out, technology companies promise a slew of revolutionary new products that will forever change life as we know it.

But invariably, some of the most eagerly anticipated gizmos are postponed, shelved or simply never make it out of beta.

And so every year Wired News gives our readers the opportunity to nominate whatever it was they most looked forward to, and were cruelly denied. Welcome to our annual Vaporware Awards.


There you go folks, do your duty as democratic citizens and vote!

In 2000 Duke Nukem Forever made it to the number 2 spot on the Vaporware awards, having this to say:

Duke Nukem Forever: 3Drealms started work on Duke Nukem Forever in early 1997 with a delivery date slated for January 1998. Needless to say, it's still not out. Officially, the release date of this game is 'when it's done,' according to the company's website.


In 2001 Duke Nukem managed to blast itself in to first place.  

And the winner is ...: Wired News would likely make its parent company a lot of EBITDA if we had a tech guy write a neat little script to automatically put this game on our Vaporware list each year. First announced in 1997, the thing is so vaporous it received at least twice as many votes as the number two application on this list. Of course, we're talking about Duke Nukem Forever -- 3-D Realms' shooter game that's been four years in the making, with no release date in sight.


Ever optimistic, the famed Scott Miller responded with the following:

"It's a very ambitious game," he said. "It's not cookie-cutter shooter like most are nowadays, and we're pushing a lot of standards. The proof will be in the pudding."


So there you have it.  The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding is nowhere to be seen.
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Home » Topic: Vote Duke Nukem Forever!

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#1 by Russ
2002-12-08 13:50:50
No

You're a bit late to the party. We gave up on that discussion days ago. It was too on-topic.--Ergo
#2 by Russ
2002-12-08 13:51:52
I am long past caring about this game. Does anyone?

You're a bit late to the party. We gave up on that discussion days ago. It was too on-topic.--Ergo
#3 by Jamiekin
2002-12-08 13:56:02
I like cookie- cutters..

I have a crocodile down my pants.
#4 by Ashiran
2002-12-08 13:56:30
Speaking of vaporware, Freelancer launched its site 2 days ago. Guess that saves it from making the grade this year.

DNF? Feh. There is no way they can make good on the anticipation people have of the game by now. Not that it will matter cause it will still sell like crazy.

The little hand that could! *note: that is not a DVD case*
#5 by "piedere"
2002-12-08 13:56:46
pieter@occ.be crew.occ.be
never did care actually.
#6 by Ashiran
2002-12-08 13:58:22
Also, I think I'm gonna submit AI. It came in at 7th place last year. Gotta beat that.

The little hand that could! *note: that is not a DVD case*
#7 by Duality
2002-12-08 14:07:35
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
Okay ... DNF's not out yet.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, time for a derailing!  Who wants to go first?
#8 by E-ph0nk
2002-12-08 14:36:58
http://www.electrophonk.be
Having played & enjoyed both duke3d & max payne, i don't know why DNF would be "teh v4p0rw4r3!!!!lol!!".  It will come out eventually - when they feel they have a decent product ready, not when the internet horde demands it.

*sigh*
#9 by LPMiller
2002-12-08 15:14:58
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
when the horse is no longer even in the shape of a horse, you can stop beating the fucking thing.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#10 by m0nty
2002-12-08 15:15:05
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I'd be more interested in the vaporous nature of some of Wired's stories lately, like their recent series on Apple which garnered a lot of hate mail.
#11 by Marsh Davies
2002-12-08 15:21:57
www.verbalchilli.com
What's vaporous about that?

- Marsh -
#12 by Matthew Gallant
2002-12-08 15:36:46
http://www.truemeaningoflife.com
I voted no.

"Is the internet making people less intelligent?"
"You mean like how video cameras cause thrown objects to hit men in the crotch?"
#13 by LPMiller
2002-12-08 15:38:26
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Monty, I don't think Vaporous means what you think it means.  I think vacuous would fit better.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#14 by E-ph0nk
2002-12-08 15:39:07
http://www.electrophonk.be
#10 ouch.. crappy article

*sigh*
#15 by m0nty
2002-12-08 15:40:11
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Well, there is no solidity to the articles, thus they are vaporous.
#16 by LPMiller
2002-12-08 15:40:58
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
No.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#17 by m0nty
2002-12-08 15:48:50
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
OK Mr Venn, how about saying that they could either be vaporous or vacuous. I was implying that there was some truth to the matter, thus saying "vaporous" because there was some little amount of content, but the word "vacuous" would have been too strong because, indubitably, the author is correct in postulating that Mac users are as mad as cut snakes.
#18 by HoseWater
2002-12-08 16:55:07
barneyque@hotmail.com
I do have to admit that I thought DNF would have been ready for this holiday season.  I might have even bet on it given half a chance.

Oh well. Its done when it's done.

blah blah zzzZZZZ 111111111111111111111111111111111111 zzZZZZZ
Heuh?
#19 by Marsh Davies
2002-12-08 17:07:31
www.verbalchilli.com
Vacuous or vaporous? The argument is just poorly stated and specious - obsessive Mac usage isn't any more a kind of wacky phenomenon than audiophilia, car fanaticism, fashion toadying, or any other kind of consumerist obsession. There is no innate quality to Macs or Mac users that make them the subject of, or partial to, this kind of behaviour; it's just a common human tendency to find some kind of clique in this way. I'm sure non-Mac users are just as driven by specific branches of consumerist desires as Mac users are...

- Marsh -
#20 by Marsh Davies
2002-12-08 17:16:03
www.verbalchilli.com
Is the character of Duke, as a "pastiche" of 80s machismo and chauvinist posturing, going to be socially relevant in the noughties?

Our heros aren't muscle-bound, steroid popping, Flex cover-models anymore; will today's youth identify with, or care about, a figure who satirises this cliche?

Or can guns, tits and ass sell even any jaded stereotype?

- Marsh -
#21 by Marsh Davies
2002-12-08 17:17:18
www.verbalchilli.com
"even any"?

My today words speaking no good do they, when.

- Marsh -
#22 by "Mr Gay Face"
2002-12-08 17:38:28
gayface@hotmail.com
the ppl who still visit duke forums and still think its coming out are the sort of ppl who believe in crop circles and think drinking ur own urine is good for u.
#23 by LPMiller
2002-12-08 17:40:38
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
the ppl who are too fucking lazy to type out ppl as the word people are vaporous, vacuous cunts, that think ur interested in whaty they have to say.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#24 by MCorleone
2002-12-08 17:42:04
That is the very first and hopefully last time I ever hear the term "the noughties."

Imagine the world in a bottle.  We take that bottle, smash it, and open your throat with it.  I warn you, we are murderous - COIL
#25 by Marsh Davies
2002-12-08 17:43:37
www.verbalchilli.com
Sorry.

What do you call it then?

- Marsh -
#26 by Hugin
2002-12-08 18:27:09
lmccain@nber.org
In the last couple of centuries, the single digit first decade was generally referred to as the "oughts" rather than the "noughts", though of course it's the same thing, just a reference to the zero.
#27 by Mank
2002-12-08 19:32:46
I've never openly questioned 3DR for taking so long on releasing DNF, but getting repeated Vaporware awards has got to make more than just the casual gamer stop and take notice. What about the investors behind the publishing company who are concerned about the bottom line? This has got to be making a lot of people in certain places at least a little nervous. Unreal was in dev for ~5 years, and that time included developing the engine no less.

Just a few seconds ago I picked up the phone and called my friend who manages the EB store near here and asked him about DNF and any kind of release date, he actually laughed at my inquiry...but the EB computer system returned April 15th as the next possible release date, and I was told those dates are given to EB by the publishers....so who knows.

"One of the principal points about the sin stupidity is that it flatters the sinner."
#28 by Warren Marshall
2002-12-08 19:35:14
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Mank

EB are pretty funny with their release dates actually.  I don't know where they come from in all honesty.  During UT2003 we used to stop by the local EB's every few weeks and check the "Upcoming Games" board they have posted to see when we were supposedly shipping ... always good for a chuckle.

Kill a man, you're a murderer,
Kill many, you're a conqueror,
Kill them all, you're a god.
#29 by Matt Davis
2002-12-08 19:37:06
http://looroll.com
new ibook = much love!

"Anal sex with men is fine.  But with girls?  Heaven forbid!" - Warren Marshall
#30 by "Evi|ivE"
2002-12-08 19:46:16
Warren, did any of you tell the guys at the EB stores who you worked for?  I honestly think that would be hilarious.  Ask them their release date, and then tell them you work for Epic and that they're wrong. :)
#31 by Warren Marshall
2002-12-08 19:49:57
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Warren, did any of you tell the guys at the EB stores who you worked for?  I honestly think that would be hilarious.  Ask them their release date, and then tell them you work for Epic and that they're wrong. :)

Yeah, we'd mess with them sometimes.

"So UT2003 is coming out next week?"

"Yep!  Would you like to pre-order a copy?"

"No, thanks.  It won't be out then anyway ..."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well ..."

I go in there quite a bit, but they can never seem to remember where I work.  They remember that it's a game company now, but they can never recall whether it's Epic or Red Storm.  Kinda funny ...

Kill a man, you're a murderer,
Kill many, you're a conqueror,
Kill them all, you're a god.
#32 by CheesyPoof
2002-12-08 19:55:19
When I think of DNF what comes to mind in the time they spent working on that game I've been able to play NOLF 1&2.  They were immensily fun games and there is no way DNF is going to be as fun as both of those games.  Of course DNF will probably outsell NOLF1&2 combined, but that dosn't matter to me the gamer.  I'm just concerned about gameplay and I doubt all this development time will improve gameplay that much.
#33 by Caryn
2002-12-08 19:56:12
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
Mank:

I've never openly questioned 3DR for taking so long on releasing DNF, but getting repeated Vaporware awards has got to make more than just the casual gamer stop and take notice. What about the investors behind the publishing company who are concerned about the bottom line? This has got to be making a lot of people in certain places at least a little nervous. Unreal was in dev for ~5 years, and that time included developing the engine no less.


Not that Scott needs someone like me to speak for him, but he's said repeatedly that awards like this only serve to keep DNF in the gamer consciousness, which is fine by them because as many have said before, it's only late until it ships. As for investors, I'm talking out of my ass but my guess is that those who need to know more details about the development stage of the game probably do, and it's more than we'll ever know.

"It's not stupid! It's advanced!"
#34 by Charles
2002-12-08 20:14:41
www.bluh.org
What a stupid topic.  What a stupid voting demographic!

#35 by Charles
2002-12-08 20:16:48
www.bluh.org
So anyway, I feel it is of note to mention that the open source freespace 2 project has managed to fix my freespace 2 graphical glitches, and I am now able to play it again.  Of course, their executable can't play the movies (volition couldn't release the movie player source, as it was Interplay's shitty code), but overall just being able to play the game again is pure love.

#36 by Gunp01nt
2002-12-08 20:31:04
supersimon33@hotmail.com
who the fuck put that spam in the submission bin?

"A computer works with ones and zeroes. It's very convenient to know that. Especially when it crashes.
1-0 for the computer."
#37 by Mank
2002-12-08 20:41:31
Caryn:

Oh I understand, and what 3DR does with DNF is thier bussiness. But it's beginning to reach a point of critical mass it seems, and from what we've seen already there is a LOT of money that has been tied up for an extremely long time with, as of yet, no returns whatsoever....just sayin.

"One of the principal points about the sin stupidity is that it flatters the sinner."
#38 by Warren Marshall
2002-12-08 20:44:50
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Mank

AFAIK, 3D Realms is self funded.  Meaning, they don't have to answer to anyone if the game is late, delayed, etc.  The only ones they can possibly hurt are themselves.  So really, what does it matter when the game comes out?  As long as they are comfortable with their schedule, the rest of the world should just fucking relax.

Kill a man, you're a murderer,
Kill many, you're a conqueror,
Kill them all, you're a god.
#39 by Matt Davis
2002-12-08 20:46:27
http://looroll.com
Lets not forget all the Take Two shares they have now thanks to the Max Payne IP selling, which are worth way more than when they got them... honest.

"Anal sex with men is fine.  But with girls?  Heaven forbid!" - Warren Marshall
#40 by E-ph0nk
2002-12-08 20:48:00
http://www.electrophonk.be
#38 agreed
People always blame games that are/play rushed.  When a developer chooses to not rush their game, take their time to do it right etc, they get flamed for not being fast enough & making vapourware.  They owe you nothing!

*sigh*
#41 by Matt Davis
2002-12-08 20:49:20
http://looroll.com
They owe me strippers.

"Anal sex with men is fine.  But with girls?  Heaven forbid!" - Warren Marshall
#42 by E-ph0nk
2002-12-08 20:50:05
http://www.electrophonk.be
damn.. i forgot the strippers

*sigh*
#43 by Mank
2002-12-08 21:03:10
Warren:

Thats fine, and more power to them. Like I said, I'm not trying to bash em here, just wondering about a few things, thats all. Whats gonna be interesting tho is if the game is released, and just so happens to coincide with the release(or near to it) of Doom3, whether by design, or not...=)

"One of the principal points about the sin stupidity is that it flatters the sinner."
#44 by Caryn
2002-12-08 21:08:41
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
Mank:

Oh I understand, and what 3DR does with DNF is thier bussiness. But it's beginning to reach a point of critical mass it seems, and from what we've seen already there is a LOT of money that has been tied up for an extremely long time with, as of yet, no returns whatsoever....just sayin.


Eh, is it really? The only money being tied up, as Warren mentioned, is likely 3DR's own. The critical mass you're talking about is only in the eyes of the gaming public, and only the small, hardcore section at that. I doubt there's a critical mass being reached as no one but Scott, George, and probably a handful of others know the real financial machinations behind DNF. We're all speculating about something we know extremely little about.

I'm looking at DNF as the ultimate experiment in game publishing: can a company take many years to make a game and still reap profit (or better yet, make a really good profit)? I really have no idea if it's going to do well or not since I, like the rest of the world, know nothing about the game. I'm dying to see how well it does and I actually hope it does do well, because if it does I think it'll possibly start a good trend in the industry -- take longer to make your games and it'll be worth a lot more in the end than rushing out a game before it's truly ready in order to make quarterly goals. But then again, even if it does set this kind of trend I doubt it can be followed by most developers/publishers since they're not as independent as 3DR is.

"Ahh, arrogance and stupidity in a single package -- how efficient of you."
#45 by Marsh Davies
2002-12-08 21:16:10
www.verbalchilli.com
Warren:
As long as they are comfortable with their schedule, the rest of the world should just fucking relax.


Sure... I just don't understand how they can be comfortable with it - I mean, how much longer can it be before they need another engine change? The anachronistic concept aside, there are loads of other aspects of the game - mission complexity, graphics, blah blah - that are going to be left behind by the times, or require repeated wholescale revamping. Hell, you're a developer - what problems are there with massively long development times?

- Marsh -
#46 by Matthew Gallant
2002-12-08 21:26:33
http://www.truemeaningoflife.com
Take Two has $6 million sunk into DNF (probably more like $8+ mil due to Net Present Value of $6 mil back when the deal was made), and owe another $6 million on delivery. Other than that, I don't know of anyone who has a stake in it besides 3D Realms themselves.

"Is the internet making people less intelligent?"
"You mean like how video cameras cause thrown objects to hit men in the crotch?"
#47 by HoseWater
2002-12-08 21:29:22
barneyque@hotmail.com
I've seen some developers state that one of the problems with massively long development times is developer burnout. I don't have any links, but I'm sure I am not the only one to have heard that.

Imagine, while we play with dozens of games over that time period, they have one.  That first level must be boring some people to tears by now.  Hehehe.


I still hope it will kick butt, and I have a feeling that it will.  It should also have massive amounts of content and take a million hours to finish.  Might be the last of the big shooters, all the newer games seem to be starting out with smaller goals, but this one was started when big long games still ruled the roost.  If they need a fresh set of eyes on the testing, I'm currently available. :)

blah blah zzzZZZZ 111111111111111111111111111111111111 zzZZZZZ
Heuh?
#48 by lwf
2002-12-08 21:40:19
I think it will live up to expections, because by now everyone is expecting an enormous wad of shit. As long as it isn't Daikatana it be surpass a lot of people's expectations. Because those expections have been continually dropping for years now.

Open 'em wide
#49 by Ashiran
2002-12-08 21:42:08
I don't think it will suck. I do think it will be a game which will make me say, "Why did you spend X year on this game while you could have done it in X-Y?"

The little hand that could! *note: that is not a DVD case*
#50 by Duality
2002-12-08 22:10:24
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
I think I will wait and see what the game is like before I determine what to say about the game.
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