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Army of One-Up?
May 24th 2002, 01:42 CEST by JMCDaveL

Haiku Topic:

U.S. Army Game
a murder simulator
controversial

Links added at behest of #planetcrap patrons. Eat a bag full of dicks.
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Home » Topic: Army of One-Up?

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#1 by Filthy Animal
2002-05-24 01:45:42
But I only want half a bag of dicks.
#2 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 01:46:17
You'll have a whole bag and like it.

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#3 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 01:50:19
Why is this a controversial thing, again?

I mean, damn a game that shows military actions in a realistic light?

And all of those are from one company.

Or is the controversy from a game given away free for those who want it?

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#4 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 01:53:07
barneyque@hotmail.com
This could be a problem because of people like that grosman[sp] guy.

He will run around telling anyone who will listen that games are teaching is bad shit.

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#5 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 01:53:23
barneyque@hotmail.com
is=us

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#6 by BabiG
2002-05-24 01:59:51
Well, it's 'cause it actually *is* a Murder simulator.

"God is dead." --Nietzsche, 1883
"Nietzsche is dead." --God, 1900
#7 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 02:01:59
Rrrrrriiiiiiiight.

I suppose I can see that being a problem, but this isn't any more of a "murder simulator" than anything else.  I mean it's intended and used simply as a recruitment tool (at least the public version is).  The only people I can see really receiving any extra heat form this is, well, the Army/Government themselves, seeing how it's their baby.  *shrug*

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#8 by LPMiller
2002-05-24 02:03:47
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Actually, it's a Mulder simulator.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#9 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 02:05:02
BabiG: everything that I've seen on it is that it actually will make the player perform actions more along the lines of "international war conventions" (yeah I know, it's goofy) but will penalize the player for shooting indiscriminately, and make the player handle things with the least necessary force, if possible.

I mean, if it *actually does* o this as it's intended and marketed to do, it's a war simulator.

(Again, that's assuming the final game ends up working in this fashion and they're not blowing smoke up the collective society's bum)

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#10 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 02:06:58
barneyque@hotmail.com
I don't think you are thinking it through, this makes for a great story when put before government officials with the right spin, and that guy tends to know what to say for maximum effect, and carries with him, an alphabet nametag, plus military experience, goverment and legal types just love talking to people like that, and give their words a heck of a lot more weight than they do any other type of speaker.

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#11 by Hugin
2002-05-24 02:10:01
lmccain@nber.org
/me cries out for Leslie to explain the mysteries of butter.
#12 by LPMiller
2002-05-24 02:12:01
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
This is actually a good thing. I mean, kind of hard to censor games when the goverment is attempting to out ID ID.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#13 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 02:27:07
(Aside:  That stonethrowers "game" is damn amusing... not exactly doing it's gig as a piece of propaganda tho)

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#14 by Mister Nutty
2002-05-24 02:30:04
Making a game that shows in gritty realistic detail how easy it is to get your fool head blown off in combat doesn't seem like a particularly good recruitment tool.

That's all I have to say about that.

Smashing!
#15 by None-1a
2002-05-24 02:38:08
This topic sucks, and the links are the main reason :)
#16 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 02:39:34
barneyque@hotmail.com
I voted it down for lack of effort.  Can't stand Haiku either.

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#17 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 02:42:57
I never even saw it in the Submission Bin... it leap-frogged over two others, methinks.

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#18 by LPMiller
2002-05-24 02:48:43
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
I like the topic, because it lacks boobies.

I believe I can fly......urk.
#19 by Sgt Hulka
2002-05-24 02:50:03
Hugin, I think Leslie upgraded Butter to the full version of SOF2

....Don't be Left with the chimps. Evolve with us...
#20 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 02:50:28
barneyque@hotmail.com
Hey, your not m0nty!

I'd like a topic addressing the lack of ass in games.  That's the one thing that both men and woman have, and could be easily balanced to keep everyone happy.

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#21 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 02:51:35
barneyque@hotmail.com
Yeah,  the mp test is still running on a different port for those of us lacking employment for another week or so.

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#22 by Hugin
2002-05-24 02:55:13
lmccain@nber.org
I bought the full version this evening.  LPMiller thinks it's down right now.
#23 by Sgt Hulka
2002-05-24 03:08:07
Ultimate Propaganda: "You got the high score, and oh yeah, YOU'RE DRAFTED!

....Don't be Left with the chimps. Evolve with us...
#24 by Bailey
2002-05-24 03:10:24
And anything that's free gets my vote. Go army!

Life without shame.
#25 by Matthew Gallant
2002-05-24 03:10:56
http://www.truemeaningoflife.com
Beat Navy!

Marketing is a crutch for mediocrity and a handicap to excellence.
#26 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 03:12:03
barneyque@hotmail.com
Do you suppose by the time they are done, a couple of the models will have giant gazongas?

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#27 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 03:12:59
How come they never make games based on the Coast Guard?

Port Defender 3D

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#28 by Sgt Hulka
2002-05-24 03:13:41
Best Movie Title Evar?
I Killed My Lesbian Wife, Hung Her on a Meat Hook and Now I Have a Three-Picture Deal at Disney by that wacky Ben Affleck

Best Song Title  Evar?
Hell is for Children by Pat Benetar

Best Fight Scene by a Muppet?
Kermit vs Tim Curry in Muppet Treasure Island

....Don't be Left with the chimps. Evolve with us...
#29 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 03:21:07
Soundtracks really do set the mood sometimes.

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#30 by HoseWater
2002-05-24 03:24:50
barneyque@hotmail.com
mov :(

1968-2002 Robert 'HoseWater" Lloyd
#31 by Dinglehoffen
2002-05-24 04:06:57
Fanny Fungus
Murder simulator, game, the Antichrist, the ultimate catharsis, pee-water, WHAT YOU WILL.

It still looks fun and I'm proud of the fact that I'm going to play it, because it's the ARMY man, sheesh! We must LOVE our country and SPEED to buy this GODSEND! FOUR SCORE AND SEVEN YEARS AGO...!!


etc.

Now we're gonna make a new rule. When you hear me typing..."
#32 by "hoodoo"
2002-05-24 04:55:11
Why is it of late
that planetcrap topics suck
I guess Morn is dead
#33 by bago
2002-05-24 05:11:02
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
Chris, You rock. PillowSlut is taking it hard!

If you only knew the stories..

iamelectro
#34 by m0nty
2002-05-24 05:33:21
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Critics of topics
Can damn well STFU!
Eat a bag of hell.
#35 by "Anonymous"
2002-05-24 05:44:43
Whatever happened to women in the millitary?  I don't see any in those pics.
#36 by "hoodoo"
2002-05-24 05:55:14
I ate bag of hell
mmmm...spicy! One problem though:
Now I'm farting flames!

----

Funny how topics
can be critical of things
but can't be criticized

----

And yes I know that
my last line in that haiku
was six syllables
#37 by Dumdeedum
2002-05-24 06:07:32
http://www.dumdeedum.com
Way in the future when we see soldiers bunny-hopping into battle you can feel really good about your tax dollar.

It'll be nice if it's modable tho.

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue"
#38 by m0nty
2002-05-24 06:22:19
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Hoodoo: try "critiqued" instead.
#39 by m0nty
2002-05-24 06:25:53
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Let me phrase that better.

Hoodoo's bad haikuMakes the baby Jesus cry.
Try "critiqued" instead.
#40 by JMCDaveL
2002-05-24 06:41:00
Ha ha! My topic!

The endtimes are upon us!

--jmc
ICQ-121684 AIM-jmcdavel U=FAG0T
#41 by Arach
2002-05-24 06:42:42
http://www.ng-gamers.com/
Free only for American citizens maybe? Heven forbid those evil Terrorists get to play this. I hope the Australian government develop some type of Australian Navy sim, the fun of blockading and escorting Boat full of refugees to some tiny Pacific island no one has ever heard of before. I'd be just like Bridge Comander!

Burger King - Where ALL Dragonmasters eat!
#42 by Arach
2002-05-24 06:44:10
http://www.ng-gamers.com/
It'd even.

Burger King - Where ALL Dragonmasters eat!
#43 by crash
2002-05-24 06:52:58
hah. it probably doesn't even depict stalking the victim for three weeks to get an idea of his schedule, watching bus and police car patterns around the intended site, scoping out a weapon, planning ahead for dismemberment, cleanup, and disposal, and i bet you a thousand dollars you don't even have to plan an alibi, flee the country, get fake IDs, or any of the bonus mini-games that come after the cops get a whiff of who you might be after all.

murder simulator my ass.

um. well. never mind, then.

just... weary.
#44 by Charles
2002-05-24 06:58:57
www.bluh.org
Correct me if I'm wrong... but wouldn't this be the first violent game that encourages you to do so IRL?  I mean, it's a recruitment tool... it's saying, come join the army, and do this FOR REAL!

Now, my POV on this is that the game industry has been unfairly attacked over and over about violent games teaching kids to be violent... yet this game flies in the face of all of that, and even embraces it.  And the worst part is, it's a game entry from outside the game industry.  And you can bet it will have an impact on the game industry itself.

Bailey:  Beep beep, motherfucker.
#45 by "hoodoo"
2002-05-24 07:01:48
You who would urge me
to use "critiqued" for "criticized"
find a dictionary

I'm "criticizing"
the crappy topics of late --
not "critiquing" them
#46 by Chris Johnson
2002-05-24 07:14:45
You who use Haiku
To try and make point: Fuck you.
Fuck You without lube.

Man This thread guy hijacked from the get-go, did it not?

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.  That's what it comes to. He should want to kill me because I want to kill him. But I still love him."  -Mike Tyson, waxing philosophic about Lennox Lewis.
#47 by m0nty
2002-05-24 07:22:03
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Six syllables in
"Find a dictionary", fool!
Error on error.

Not to mention eight
In your second line. Hoodoo's
Haiku-fu is weak.
#48 by Bailey
2002-05-24 07:51:35
Nova-Z

Armies the world round have been teaching kids to kill since the dawn of time. The difference between these guys and, say, those murdering bastards at Epic, is the nation endorses the army's practice as such. I think we can expect to see a Grossman double-standard coming down the pipe.

Life without shame.
#49 by Creole Ned
2002-05-24 08:12:28
I submitted a topic (which was voted off the island). Does that give me the right to bitch about the topics that get through?

Signed,
Curious and somewhat bitter

I found a new friend underneath my pillow.
#50 by "Anonymous"
2002-05-24 08:18:06
All I know is that if a Mac version doesn't come out I'm gonna cry discrimination to the government.
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