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When Iraq Attacks!
December 20th 2000, 15:38 CET by asspennies

According to this unintentionally quirky article on World Net Daily, Iraq is stockpiling PlayStation 2 consoles for the express purposes of building armies of autonomous death machines.

Actually, the article brings up an interesting point, even though much of it is clearly marketing spin, and the "intelligence source" is more than likely a press representative at Sony.  With console systems getting more and more powerful, they are essentially becoming miniature PCs - powerful, capable, and in the right hands, potentially effective for other means.

What happens when the XBox is released?  As it features a Pentium 3 processor (either 750Mhz, as their specs point out, or perhaps 1Ghz according to rumours), there's really no foreseeable reason why the processor couldn't be pulled out somehow, placed into a PC motherboard, and used as it was always intended - as a desktop processor.  If we are actively restricting the sale of processors overseas to countries like Iraq, we should conceivably do the same with any system that uses a processor in its hardware.

Still, one wonders why you can't just pool a lot of Gameboys together and use them to guide a missile.  Why do you need an 'emotion engine' to reap destruction?  I could do that with Doom.
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#1 by "Therac"
2000-12-20 15:43:53
zenfnord@hotmail.com
Damn.  Right wing sites are fun.
#2 by "Therac"
2000-12-20 15:48:43
zenfnord@hotmail.com
Actually, it's a convinient article for parents.  

Son: "But dad! I didn't want a Dreamcast, I wanted a PS2!!! Don't you know anything?"
Father: "Sorry son, but those damn Iraqi's bought them all up.  Maybe next year."
#3 by "the_reformed_pianist"
2000-12-20 16:27:45
pianist@canada.com
3rd post!!!! fuck!!!!!!!
#4 by "Crusader"
2000-12-20 16:27:55
crusader@linuxgames.com
Yellow Journalism.
#5 by "the_reformed_pianist"
2000-12-20 16:29:21
pianist@canada.com
Therac, who would want a PS2 over a Dreamcast? You're not making sense.
#6 by "Durzel"
2000-12-20 17:48:14
durzel@barrysworld.com
What happens when the XBox is released? As it features a Pentium 3 processor (either 750Mhz, as their specs point out, or perhaps 1Ghz according to rumours), there's really no foreseeable reason why the processor couldn't be pulled out somehow, placed into a PC motherboard, and used as it was always intended - as a desktop processor.


And it would be a damn sight cheaper than buying it for your desktop PC.  I would imagine though that Intel will bastardise the processor casing somewhat so that it becomes impossible (physically at least) to buy a X-box (or maybe 2), rip out the internals and use them in your PC.
#7 by "asspennies"
2000-12-20 17:55:22
asspennies@somethingawful.com
<b>#6</b> "Durzel" wrote...
<quote>And it would be a damn sight cheaper than buying it <B>for</B> your desktop PC. </quote>

Not really.  According to Pricewatch.com, the going rate for a Pentium III 750 is $166, and $440 for the 1Ghz - right now.  Now that Pentium 4's are out, you can expect both of those prices to fall significantly, especially by the end of next year, when the XBox is expected to be available (for around $200-$250, most likely).  

And remember, you'd still have to buy a new motherboard, case, memory, etc.  So basically, it won't be cheaper at all to rip open an XBox and grab the processor - it will be considerably more expensive.
<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#8 by "mortis"
2000-12-20 18:14:59
mortis@goddamnindependent.com
having seen these guys technology skills in action first-hand, i believe i can safely say that these PS2's will be broken & up on cinder blocks within a month.
#9 by "Ergo"
2000-12-20 18:38:19
stu@dsl-only.net
Well, I feel confident in saying that this whole story isn't true, given the extreme right-wing\fundamentalist nature of the website.<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#10 by "Desiato"
2000-12-20 18:48:31
desiato_hotblack@hotmail.com
I'm sure they'll all be back on the market again -- Saddam is just going to stuff 'em with biologicals, and sell them to dupes worldwide that think paying $300+ for a console is worth it.

Ooops! Highscore! Here comes the Anthrax!! *sssssssssssssst!*

I love conspiracy theories, you can never be sure which fragment started out as the truth.

Desiato...
#11 by "Sgt_Hulka"
2000-12-20 19:09:47
rwaring@ameritech.net
I talked about this yesterday at hulka.com, I said

"I hate to say it but, perhaps even more than the spike in oil prices and the invasion of Kuwait, this will bring out a lot of hawks from the younger generation.

Stealing our playstations is an act of war and a national emergency, like Pearl Harbor! "
#12 by "asspennies"
2000-12-20 19:30:31
asspennies@somethingawful.com
<b>#9</b> "Ergo" wrote...
<quote>Well, I feel confident in saying that this whole story isn't true, given the extreme right-wing\fundamentalist nature of the website.</quote>

Sort of like Salon but on the other idiological side, huh?<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#13 by "Ergo"
2000-12-20 19:47:27
stu@dsl-only.net
Exactly.<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#14 by "AshRain"
2000-12-20 20:13:06
ikhier@wish.net
What the F**K is this post doing here?

Since when does PC started posting trivial humor like this, as a topic?
#15 by "PainKilleR"
2000-12-20 20:18:38
painkiller@planetfortress.com
<b>AshRain</b> (#14):
<quote>What the F**K is this post doing here?

Since when does PC started posting trivial humor like this, as a topic?</quote>

The name of the site is Planet<b>crap</b>, and this is crap, so I fail to see the problem...

-PainKilleR-[CE]
#16 by "The_Joker"
2000-12-20 22:36:00
joker@junkextreme.com
Got wang?<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#17 by "Sgt_Hulka"
2000-12-20 22:40:39
rwaring@ameritech.net
Should Life Savers Have Instructions, Next on Sally
#18 by "asspennies"
2000-12-20 22:58:28
asspennies@somethingawful.com
<b>#14</b> "AshRain" wrote...
<quote>What the F**K is this post doing here?

Since when does PC started posting trivial humor like this, as a topic?</quote>

I guess you can partially blame me for submitting this in the first place, but hey, I didn't post it.  Still, I don't see why you're all in a tissy.  You seemed to have no problem with the trivial linux story a few topics back, as you posted in it.

Whether or not this story is true (I'd lean on the negative on that one), it does ask some interesting questions and I outlined that on the main post.

My suggestion would be to quite complaining, but we know that's not going to happen, don't we?<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#19 by "Vengeance"
2000-12-21 02:51:35
rhiggi@home.com
<b>#17</b> "Sgt_Hulka" wrote...
<quote>Should Life Savers Have Instructions, Next on Sally</quote>

Oh, yea, joke all you want.

Its all fun and games till you loose an eye ;)

V<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#20 by "PeteCloss"
2000-12-21 04:43:40
pete@sharkyextreme.com
<b>Sgt_Hulka</b> (#11):
<quote>spike in oil prices<quote>

Spike in oil prices? In the US? So, what, does that mean they're not only 1/5 that of European prices? :)<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#21 by "None1a"
2000-12-21 06:17:17
none1a@home.com
<b>asspennies</b> (#0):
<quote>What happens when the XBox is released? As it features a Pentium 3 processor (either 750Mhz, as their specs point out, or perhaps 1Ghz according to rumours), there's really no foreseeable reason why the processor couldn't be pulled out somehow, placed into a PC motherboard, and used as it was always intended - as a desktop processor. </quote>


Why would you have to? We've got Dreamcast linux, and you know there will be a X-Box Linux with in a week of launch (and probably a CD-R that loads an OS from the harddrive). If it that doesn't happen the X-box is based around PC programing so I'd imagine some one clever could whip out a missile guidance program (it's be funny as hell to see a bunch of people trying to input flight data with a sidewinder pad). <i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#22 by "AshRain"
2000-12-21 08:46:20
ikhier@wish.net
Well, there was something in the Linux topic to bitch about. So something wasn't right == crap.

And this topic is just a funny story. But I fail to see the crap here. K so you might be able to use P2 chips for something else as intended. What's so crappy about that?
#23 by "WarrenMarshall"
2000-12-21 09:48:45
warren@epicgames.com
AshRain (#22):
And this topic is just a funny story. But I fail to see the crap here. K so you might be able to use P2 chips for something else as intended. What's so crappy about that?

It's just a topic to get people chatting about stuff ... it doesn't have to be of earth shattering importance ...

---

Warren Marshall
Level Designer/Programmer/Corporate Shill
Epic Games (www.epicgames.com)<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#24 by "datafox"
2000-12-21 11:26:49
datafox@yahoo.com
Hahahaha peopel worry about nukes when chem and bio weapons are easier and cheaper to make. Plus they do nto need this fany computer stuff.

Chorine gas was a fun toy back in WWI.
#25 by "datafox"
2000-12-21 11:28:10
datafox@yahoo.com
Pardon me for my horrible typos. I have no attenion span to read over my work.
#26 by "AshRain"
2000-12-21 12:32:35
ikhier@wish.net
I suffer from withdrawel if I don't have anything to bitch about.

Hell even my girlfriends are always total bitches. I loved them! :)
#27 by "MrSparkle"
2000-12-22 01:02:07
jlm441@psu.edu
MILLITARY SECRET -- HOW TO HACK A PS2 GUIDED MISSLE

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Left, Right, Right, B, A, Start.
#28 by "Dethstryk"
2000-12-22 02:38:01
jemartin@tcainternet.com
<b>MrSparkle</b> (Post #27):
<quote>Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Left, Right, Right, B, A, Start.</quote>
If you're going to do the Konami code, at least get it right, damnit.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Start.


--
Dethstryk
#29 by "Gunp01nt"
2000-12-22 13:31:28
supersimon33@hotmail.com
Heh, they don't even need to PROGRAM the consoles for use as a missile guidance system, just load up Missile Command!!! :-)
#30 by "asspennies"
2000-12-22 13:49:33
asspennies@somethingawful.com
<b>#28</b> "Dethstryk" wrote...
<quote>
If you're going to do the Konami code, at least get it right, damnit.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, A, B, Start.
</quote>

Wasn't it Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Select, Start?

That's what I used in Contra...
<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#31 by "superion"
2000-12-22 14:18:20
superion@spacemoose.com
if you hit select you're playing two player contra, babe. in nemesis/life force you have to pause it.
#32 by "Prfbrain"
2000-12-22 14:59:19
brain@arn.net
You're forgetting something else this is a playstation we're talking about. None of their buttons actually make any sense.
up, up, circle, square, l2, r1, x, triangle, down, down, hold down all four shoulder buttons and spin in a circle 5 times, square.<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#33 by "Dethstryk"
2000-12-22 16:25:17
jemartin@tcainternet.com
<b>Prfbrain</b> (Post #32):
<quote>You're forgetting something else this is a playstation we're talking about. None of their buttons actually make any sense. </quote>
No way.. we're talking old school NES. ;)


--
Dethstryk
#34 by "asspennies"
2000-12-22 16:43:25
asspennies@somethingawful.com
<b>#32</b> "Prfbrain" wrote...
<quote>You're forgetting something else this is a playstation we're talking about. None of their buttons actually make any sense.
up, up, circle, square, l2, r1, x, triangle, down, down, hold down all four shoulder buttons and spin in a circle 5 times, square.</quote>

One wonders why labeling a button "A" or "B" makes any more sense than labelling a button "Triangle" or "Square"

After all, on NES pads, the A and B buttons were actually in the order of B then A!  The nerve!
<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#35 by "FritzTheCat"
2000-12-22 17:21:51
illuminati@zombieworld.com
Laugh now but when the Xbox comes out I plan to buy 400 of them and take over the world.
#36 by "Ergo"
2000-12-22 17:52:37
stu@dsl-only.net
Remember, the Japanese read right to left.<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#37 by "nick"
2000-12-23 03:02:28
nickb@iname.com
Heh.. to all those who thought this was a "right-wing" conspiracy, check the article from liberal propaganda machine http://www.msnbc.com/news/506810.asp
#38 by "undule"
2000-12-23 05:59:20
undule@tampabay.rr.com
<b>#37</b> "nick" wrote...
<quote>Heh.. to all those who thought this was a "right-wing" conspiracy, check the article from liberal propaganda machine http://www.msnbc.com/news/506810.asp</quote>

LOL. Liberal propoganda machine? <i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#39 by "nick"
2000-12-23 07:38:25
nickb@iname.com
undule: ever seen msnbc broadcast? talk about bias...

I've been researching propaganda for several years now and it's amazing how newscasts have degraded over the years. Check this site to learn more: http://www.aim.org
#40 by "RyslinANDIndigo"
2000-12-23 16:08:06
ryslinmoon@yahoo.com
left right left ..wait no a b x y left right upper right front..wait no...um...i got it.. circle triangle left right bottom right front.. no...damn.. and people wonder why i find it easier just to type in GOD in quake or sumthin..i mean SHEESH...






.03 cents worth
#41 by "Morn"
2000-12-23 18:14:11
morn@planetcrap.com http://www.planetcrap.com
test, sorry
#42 by "Needle"
2000-12-23 21:31:51
mrklp@hotmail.com
[#41] Morn,

test, sorry


I\'ll let it slide this time, but I don\'t want to see it happen again.
#43 by "Needle"
2000-12-23 21:33:50
mrklp@hotmail.com
I don\'t recall seeing that backslash in the preview.
#44 by "Foogla"
2000-12-23 23:55:33
Foogla@Somethingawful.com
This happened to Warren in another therad too! Pc is being \'-ed! Hope I got the \\ befor it got away. :)
#45 by "Foogla"
2000-12-23 23:59:09
Foogla@Somethingawful.com
Doh! So how do I type just one of these? \"It is time...for more experiments.\"

\" $ % & / ( ) = ? ` * + ~ \' # @ YOU!\" ;)
#46 by "Foogla"
2000-12-24 00:00:30
Foogla@Somethingawful.com
AHA!
#47 by "Morn"
2000-12-24 01:11:23
morn@planetcrap.com http://www.planetcrap.com
It's a test! "hurray"
#48 by "WarrenMarshall"
2000-12-24 01:33:35
warren@epicgames.com
Morn (#47):
It's a test! "hurray"

Huzzah!!

---

Warren Marshall
Level Designer/Programmer/Corporate Shill
Epic Games (www.epicgames.com)<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#49 by "Morn"
2000-12-24 02:37:08
morn@planetcrap.com http://www.planetcrap.com
Well, Merry Christmas/etc everyone. I decided to introduce some bugs into Crapola as a christmas surprise. If you find them, you can keep them!

:D

- Morn
<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
#50 by "VeeSPIKE"
2000-12-24 04:11:37
appliedavoidance@mindspring.com
<b><u>Morn</u></b>, in the delightfully enlightening post <b>#49</b>, babbled the following:
<quote>Well, Merry Christmas/etc everyone. I decided to introduce some bugs into Crapola as a christmas surprise. If you find them, you can keep them!

:D

- Morn
</quote>


Well, Season's Beatings and have a Hairy Mistress to you too.

<i><b></b></i><i></i><i></i>
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