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The 2005 Wicked Awards nomination thread
June 25th 2005, 19:10 CEST by m0nty

To add to the frivolity of the annual PlanetCrap TOTY Awards, I think that it is time that awards be given for all the sins against journalism made by the gaming Web site community each year. Note that this thread is for nominations of those pieces of writing you feel worthy of consideration as prime examples of balderdash, bombast, fatuity, gobbledygook, mumbo jumbo, palaver, prattle, pretense and twaddle (see full topic for categories) - the award judging thread will be made in January with a shortlist of nominees taken from this thread.

In honour of the recent passing of Billy "Wicked" Wilson, it is only fitting that these awards should bear his name. I hereby announce the inauguration of the Wicked Awards for Gaming Web Site Journalism.

Here are the categories. Remember that qualification for these awards is restricted only to those brave souls who: write reviews, previews, or articles for Web sites about computer games: engage in the time-honoured practice of "cut'n'paste" journalism relating to computer games; or write or draw Webcomics which have a significant portion of content related to computer games.

JOURNALISM CATEGORY
• Most Poorly Edited Article
• Best Display of Lack of Fact-Checking
• Best Display of Lack of Technological Knowledge
• Best Display of Ignorance of HTML and/or Site Design Styles
• Most Comprehensive Mangling of the English Language in an Article

COMMUNITY CATEGORY
• Most Ridiculous Usage of Gangsta Talk
• Best Display of Sexism and/or Racism
• Most Petulant Defence of an Article in a Web Forum
• Best Hissy Fight and/or Vendetta in a Web Forum

SURVIVAL CATEGORY
• Most Obviously Paid-For Review
• Most Constant Whoring for Single Company
• Most Blatant Whoring for Advertiser/s in Blog
• Best Exploitation of Free Reader Contributions
• Most Creative Plea for Reader Donations

HUMOUR CATEGORY
• Most Tortured Attempt at Humour in an Article
• Most Unfunny Game-related Webcomic
• Most Hated Character/s in Game-related Webcomic
• Most Hilarous Web Forum Post Attacking a Web Site Journalist and/or Article

GENERAL CATEGORY
• Most Boring Gaming Blog
• Most Boring Interview
• Most Hyperbole in a Review or Preview
• Most Inappropriate Score in a Review
• Most Unprofessional Gaming Journalist
• Andy Smith Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Gaming Journalism
• Worst Gaming Journalist of the Year
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: The 2005 Wicked Awards nomination thread

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#1 by wingwalker
2005-06-25 19:13:21
I got nothing
#2 by Gunp01nt
2005-06-25 19:21:34
supersimon33@hotmail.com
M0nty, do you expect us to read Blues, Gamespot, IGN and whatnot everyday?

The only thing that could possibly make me less frightening, is if someone made three movies about my childhood, pointing out how much of a retarded, non-threatening pussy I used to be.

Wait, someone already did that? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 - Darth Vader
#3 by Wudi
2005-06-25 19:27:18
Curse you and your yes vote, stinkin canadian!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
#4 by anaqer
2005-06-25 19:30:34
Oh bother.

Isn't the world full of unemployed actors willing to do voice work in exchange for food or, you know, Heroin? "Do it with feeling this time, Cody, and I'll make the spiders in your brain go away!"
#5 by schnee
2005-06-25 19:33:37
david@snowdesign.com
Most Tortured Attempt at Humour in an Article

WINNAR!

Gawd wuz a dream of good gubmint.
#6 by LPMiller
2005-06-25 19:53:30
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
aren't we beyond this yet?

"Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
#7 by jjohnsen
2005-06-25 19:58:04
http://www.johnsenclan.com
Too many catagories, I lost my train of thought while trying to think about the first one.

Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore.  -LP
#8 by Your Friend
2005-06-25 20:31:17
Since I don't hate myself, I don't read gaming web sites.

I didn't ask for a shrink, that must've been somebody else.  Also, that pudding isn't mine.  Also, I'm wearing this suit today because I had a very important meeting this morning.  And I don't have a crying problem.
#9 by Morn
2005-06-25 20:32:01
morn@planetcrap.com http://hmans.net
7

Who runs this place?!
#10 by anaqer
2005-06-25 20:45:22
When?

Isn't the world full of unemployed actors willing to do voice work in exchange for food or, you know, Heroin? "Do it with feeling this time, Cody, and I'll make the spiders in your brain go away!"
#11 by Anonymous
2005-06-25 21:04:18
Now!

#12 by schnee
2005-06-25 21:44:00
david@snowdesign.com
!quote

Gawd wuz a dream of good gubmint.
#13 by yotsuya
2005-06-25 23:07:35
Hot damn! I'm on my way to pick up a 55 in widescreen Mitisubishi HDTV and a 6.1 Home Theatre system. w00t!

Don't you have a pretend girlfriend to not be fucking right now, loser?
#14 by Anonymous
2005-06-25 23:09:22
Tell that to the starving children!

#15 by lwf
2005-06-25 23:11:39
Those children are gay.

"Then I see his eyes glaze over and I can see it going through his mind: 'Oh my God, I'm going to fuck Marilyn Monroe,' and he can't get it up."
#16 by Shadarr
2005-06-25 23:11:42
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
Is this a sudden thing?  Usually whipped men like yourself have to grovel and crawl for months to be allowed to make a purchase like that.

"I spent a year in Vancouver; now I have to kill a hooker and feed her to the pigs just to get going in the mornings." - Leslie Nassar
#17 by yotsuya
2005-06-25 23:37:32
Shadarr-

It's my Father's Day/Birthday/Anniversary gift.

Don't you have a pretend girlfriend to not be fucking right now, loser?
#18 by Ds_
2005-06-25 23:49:56
roger.boal@gmail.com
Do I win anything for being semi funny in the l33t translation of 'the fall of Anakin skywalker'?

it was my first funnay in years !
#19 by Shadarr
2005-06-25 23:51:17
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
Well, that's better than all the presents I get in a year put together, but I guess since it's partly your money it's not as impressive.  Still cool though.  Do you have a room big enough for a 55" screen?

"I spent a year in Vancouver; now I have to kill a hooker and feed her to the pigs just to get going in the mornings." - Leslie Nassar
#20 by Ergo
2005-06-25 23:53:49
yot--

Awesome. Be sure to get the set professionally calibrated after about 100 hours of use. Well worth the money--I got my set calibrated for the second time today and the difference is amazing.

"Every sect as far as reason will help them, gladly use it; when it fails them, they cry out it is a matter of faith, and beyond reason." --John Locke
DVDs
#21 by G-Man
2005-06-26 01:00:02
Two calibrations in the same day huh?
#22 by yotsuya
2005-06-26 01:28:18
Ergo-

Thanks for the tip! I just got it in the house now. I'll post a photo later!

Don't you have a pretend girlfriend to not be fucking right now, loser?
#23 by Warren Marshall
2005-06-26 01:36:29
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Enjoy Yot, you're going to love it.  The first few days you'll be marvelling at the stupidness of the screen size.  Eventually it'll look normal to you, but that first week is magic...
#24 by yotsuya
2005-06-26 01:38:03
First movie I'm watching tonight? Star Wars.

Don't you have a pretend girlfriend to not be fucking right now, loser?
#25 by Eric T. Cheng
2005-06-26 06:36:37
erictcheng@hotmail.com
I got a projector. Cheaper and smaller than a 55" tv but have the same screen size.

Kilt Wearing Pixel Pushing Monkey Boy
DVD Collection
GameGossip.com
#26 by yotsuya
2005-06-26 06:42:09
What? I can't hear you. I'm having sex with my wife.

Don't you have a pretend girlfriend to not be fucking right now, loser?
#27 by Eric T. Cheng
2005-06-26 06:48:59
erictcheng@hotmail.com
I guess she doesn't mind you posting on PC  at the same time then?

Kilt Wearing Pixel Pushing Monkey Boy
DVD Collection
GameGossip.com
#28 by Leslie Nassar
2005-06-26 08:43:21
http://departmentofinternets.com
wait, billy wilson is dead?  when did that happen?

You've already tried the iPod, that smoothly transitions into trying the Mac Mini, and before you know it you're married to a man.  Apple's master plan to make everything stylish wins. -- ChunkStyle
#29 by McBain
2005-06-26 09:12:25
Does anyone here have a link to the video for the Radiohead song "Just"?  I would love to have this video and watch it again.

For we know that happiness that can only come from letting go of the impossible, embracing the possible, and telling people we’ve never met to go fuck themselves on the internets.
#30 by Ergo
2005-06-26 09:13:48
Two calibrations in the same day huh?

Urk. Should've seen that one coming. What I meant was the second time in the last 5 years.

"Every sect as far as reason will help them, gladly use it; when it fails them, they cry out it is a matter of faith, and beyond reason." --John Locke
DVDs
#31 by Ergo
2005-06-26 09:43:33
Also, don't turn off the TV when you aren't using it. Turn off the components that feed it. Modern HDTV sets have a power saving mode much like computer monitors--when they aren't receiving a signal, they go into a "low" mode that consumes very little power. This will alleviate the sharp spike that occurs when you turn on the TV and what causes the most frequent means for light bulbs to burn out.

"Every sect as far as reason will help them, gladly use it; when it fails them, they cry out it is a matter of faith, and beyond reason." --John Locke
DVDs
#32 by Ds_
2005-06-26 10:20:04
roger.boal@gmail.com
Leslie he died in the middle of March this year.

the word was liver failure, possibly brought on by his painkiller abuse.
#33 by Anonymous
2005-06-26 12:07:55
Before I forget...seen on shacknews: Spoiled 11 year old kid argues with his mom while playing a Raven Shield clan match on Xbox Live and forgets that his headset isn't muted. [41MB]

#34 by Leslie Nassar
2005-06-26 13:45:09
http://departmentofinternets.com
i totally thought people were joking when they said he was a drunk/junkie.  now it's not nearly as funny.

You've already tried the iPod, that smoothly transitions into trying the Mac Mini, and before you know it you're married to a man.  Apple's master plan to make everything stylish wins. -- ChunkStyle
#35 by LPMiller
2005-06-26 15:53:34
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
He died of liver faliure brought on by disease. It wasn't actually by drug use, though it was a contributing factor.

"Testiculos habet et bene pendentes" — "He has testicles, and they dangle nicely."
#36 by Penguinx
2005-06-26 16:01:17
Ergo, good tip. I have a 60" Mitsu that blinked out on me a few months  before the one year warranty expired. Other than that, I absolutely love the thing. Best purchase EVAR.

Penguinx is a licensed and ordained Elder for the Church of the Living God's Global Pacific Diocese.

Should you need to find Jesus, I likely have a map.
#37 by Dumdeedum
2005-06-26 18:58:54
http://www.dumdeedum.com
Just to throw Monty a bone, there was an "article" on the batsuit by howstuffworks.com linked from Slashdot about a week ago that should win some sort of Most Obvious Shill award.

Bone thrown, a more interesting topic is Google now offering satellite maps for large amounts of the world outside North America.  I'm here (look for an "L" shaped bit of river in the middle) or at least I think I am, the resolution leaves something to be desired.

Guest MP3OTW: Motorhead - Whorehouse Blues.mp3 (Thanks Warren!)
#38 by G-Man
2005-06-26 23:14:20
#33 Anonymous
Before I forget...seen on shacknews: Spoiled 11 year old kid argues with his mom while playing a Raven Shield clan match on Xbox Live and forgets that his headset isn't muted. 41MB

This comment is broken in Opencrap because you used [] to enclose the text anchor for the link.
#39 by G-Man
2005-06-26 23:23:31
Although it isn't specifically mentioned in the study linked earlier, I believe that that video is as effective a form of birth control as condoms alone.
#40 by Ds_
2005-06-27 00:01:24
roger.boal@gmail.com
Open source Lumines for win32
#41 by Wudi
2005-06-27 00:01:37
$0 motherfucker!

$0 []

Lamer!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
#42 by Ds_
2005-06-27 00:01:59
roger.boal@gmail.com
And as a follow up

These are the controls I figured out so far:

O (letter) - execute menu items
W - Up - in menu
I - Turn music on/off - if you start a game without music, and try starting the music ingame you only get game sounds. the music will start when you reach the next skin

In game:
S - Down - in menu and in game
A - left
D - right
J- turn blocks right
K - turn blocks left
P - in game pause/menu


Enjoy
#43 by Wudi
2005-06-27 00:03:08
Oh, like THAT aint some kind of chink virus!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
#44 by Ds_
2005-06-27 00:04:53
roger.boal@gmail.com
Shouldnt you be off trying to code a clone?
#45 by Wudi
2005-06-27 00:08:51
BubbleBlast beat BubbleBomb is every way!

My clone of a clone of a clone of a game WINS!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
#46 by Wudi
2005-06-27 00:09:11
in, even!

Huzzah!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
#47 by bago
2005-06-27 00:53:28
manga_Rando@hotmail.com
Go fig, someone I know just died of liver failure on friday.

Note to self, having vodka around 24/7 is probably bad for you.

A morality play without morals. A cautionary tale lacking in caution yet abundant in tail.
#48 by Warren Marshall
2005-06-27 02:04:55
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
Note to self, having vodka around 24/7 is probably bad for you.

No, in that case having so self control is bad for you.  The vodka isn't jumping into your mouth.
#49 by "Anonymous"
2005-06-27 02:33:44
i'd like some motherfucking chocolate milk too
#50 by Wudi
2005-06-27 03:21:49
50!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
C O M M E N T S
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