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PCWE, Winter 2005
April 8th 2005, 05:18 CEST by Caryn

The Great PCWE is now open for the first quarter of 2005. We've got a few submissions, so it's time to read and make with the commenting. This quarter's theme is all about finding something drastically changed upong waking. As always, the theme can be interpreted liberally and all manner of creative writing may be submitted.

The stories available are now open for reading, and submissions will stay open until the end of April. After that the current quarter will close and we'll begin thinking of a theme for the spring.
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Home » Topic: PCWE, Winter 2005

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#1 by Caryn
2005-04-08 05:19:19
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
I'm aware that I broke my own request that people actually contribute to this round. I didn't because I didn't have time and for some reason I drew a total blank for this topic.

"Take death for example. A great deal of our effort goes into avoiding it. We make extraordinary efforts to delay it and often consider its intrusion a tragic event. Yet we'd find it hard to live without it. Death gives meaning to our lives. It gives importance and value to time." - Ray Kurzweil
#2 by Squeaky
2005-04-08 05:45:59
THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE

I memorize the words to the porno movies
This is a new religion to me
#3 by Dumdeedum
2005-04-08 06:34:51
http://www.dumdeedum.com
I only came up with an idea for this round yesterday, it's not very good but I'm slowly writing it up bit by bit anyway.  ETA sometime over the weekend I hope.

Guest MP3OTW: Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft - Try.mp3 (Thanks E-Phonk!)
#4 by m0nty
2005-04-08 06:51:45
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I read the news today, oh boy.
#5 by UncleJeet
2005-04-08 06:58:28
They say the danger's gone away?

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#6 by Your Friend
2005-04-08 07:35:32
I've decided to organize a PlanetCrap themed overthrow of the United States government to take place two weeks from today.  As the organizer of this event I will follow the grand PlanetCrap tradition of not actually participating in it myself.  

But good luck, men!  And godspeed!

Comment Signature:
#7 by Squeaky
2005-04-08 07:51:34
I have decided to dedicate myself to YF's cause. As such, I'll sit on my ass for the next couple of weeks doing sweet fuck all.

I memorize the words to the porno movies
This is a new religion to me
#8 by m0nty
2005-04-08 08:03:44
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I shall be the first Fan of this project. Update, bitches!
#9 by Wudi
2005-04-08 12:38:08
Wiriting is for Fatties!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
#10 by Wudi
2005-04-08 12:38:33
and so is Writing!

Zep--

Inverted Mouse 4 Life, YO!
#11 by Jibble
2005-04-08 14:26:55
I will suggest that I am going to show up for the revolution, then come up for a ridiculous excuse for not being able to make it.

"Oh, shit.  Sorry!  I went down to K-Mart and they were all out of shotgun ammo and methamphetamines."

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#12 by m0nty
2005-04-08 14:46:06
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I bemoan this project's lack of a favicon.
#13 by Jibble
2005-04-08 14:49:42
I make comments about your latent homosexuality.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#14 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-08 15:27:19
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
I went down to K-Mart and they were all out of shotgun ammo and methamphetamines.

Obviously a lie.  I'm sure there's SOMEONE inside of a damn K-Mart who could help you with that sort of thing.  Look for trucker caps and wife beaters.

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#15 by Jibble
2005-04-08 15:30:18
Thus the ridiculousness of the excuse.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#16 by Warren Marshall
2005-04-08 15:33:16
http://www.wantonhubris.com/
I figured but I wanted to call you out anyway.  It's Friday, I demand satisfaction.

Light travels faster than sound.  This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
#17 by Jibble
2005-04-08 15:37:44
Pistols at dawn, motherfucker.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#18 by Chunkstyle
2005-04-08 15:46:46
The K-Mart had pistol ammo, but no shotgun shells?  This excuse keeps getting worse.

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#19 by Jibble
2005-04-08 15:50:04
Actually, I can't make the pistols at dawn thing either because my second cousin's grandmother passed away and I have to watch TV all day to mourn her passing.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
231 lbs.  51 to go.
#20 by Hugin
2005-04-08 16:15:40
lmccain@nber.org
Just FYI for anyone who's might actually be reading the stories, "Some of Us Have Been Threatening Our Friend Colby" by "Melissa" is actually a story written in the 70's by Donald Barthelme.

I assume some crapper or lurker put it in as a joke.  Caryn knows about it, but I think she's trying to contact Chris to have it removed from the pcwrite database.
#21 by Caryn
2005-04-08 16:15:53
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
For those who might wonder, the author bfrey in the latest pcwrite stuff is someone chris knows that he put in touch with me about critiquing/editing his novel, and he got interested in the excercise when we talked about it and decided to contribute. (Just thought I'd explain that unfamiliar name to people who might wonder.)

"Take death for example. A great deal of our effort goes into avoiding it. We make extraordinary efforts to delay it and often consider its intrusion a tragic event. Yet we'd find it hard to live without it. Death gives meaning to our lives. It gives importance and value to time." - Ray Kurzweil
#22 by lwf
2005-04-08 16:22:29
Hugin. Your story is brilliant style as usual, but it doesn't make sense yet so I need to read it again.

Give up your pussy again.
#23 by Hugin
2005-04-08 16:28:56
lmccain@nber.org
Yeah, you're the second person who has said they want to like the story but it doesn't make sense to them.  I had a lot of trouble with it.  I like the core idea but making it comprehensible seems not to have gone so well.
#24 by UncleJeet
2005-04-08 17:01:07
Can we still submit or is it locked?  After getting the deadline confused last month, pcwrite completely disappeared from my radar and I forgot all about it.

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#25 by Hugin
2005-04-08 17:02:01
lmccain@nber.org
I think it's still unlocked Jeet.
#26 by UncleJeet
2005-04-08 17:02:42
Hooray!  All my crap is at home though, so I won't be able to toss in until later tonight.

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#27 by Caryn
2005-04-08 17:08:23
carynlaw@pacbell.net http://www.hellchick.net
#24 UncleJeet
Can we still submit or is it locked?  After getting the deadline confused last month, pcwrite completely disappeared from my radar and I forgot all about it.

You'll still be able to submit until the end of April.

"Take death for example. A great deal of our effort goes into avoiding it. We make extraordinary efforts to delay it and often consider its intrusion a tragic event. Yet we'd find it hard to live without it. Death gives meaning to our lives. It gives importance and value to time." - Ray Kurzweil
#28 by lwf
2005-04-08 17:27:06
What if I want to submit before the end of April? WHAT OPTIONS DO I HAVE ASIDE FROM READING THE TOPIC?

Give up your pussy again.
#29 by Marsh Davies
2005-04-08 17:49:47
www.verbalchilli.com
Hugin -

First: great story, sucky sucky, 10 dollar etc.

I got the story, or, at least, I got enough of it to assume the rest was intentionally unclear - and that worked for me. In fact, I think the lack of the explicit is one of the things that really makes the story tick: I was glad that you had mostly avoided setting it anywhere in particular, or in Fantasy World #43389839021-3b. The mentioning of Chikri felt slightly odd, given that you otherwise left the world to the imagination of the reader. It kind of broke the spell of ambiguity that you'd set up by, for example, not giving names to your characters that might have identified them with a place, real or otherwise.

The pacing and order seemed to work fine. I felt - and this is probably why I like the story - that the aesthetic of the supernatural was dealt with really quite originally. It didn't feel like fantasy wizardry or fit into any obvious real world theology. It felt earthy and folkloric; and I always find folklore to be far more uncanny and powerful thing in writing.

I thought there are too many one word sentences, though. I'm not particularly adamant about having a verb in every sentence in fiction - because it depends on the style, tone and form you are attempting - but it happens a little too often here, making the piece sound stacatto and over-emphasised. Throw some extra clauses in there! It's not particularly important in a piece this short, but if it were any longer, varying the length and structure of sentences might really help the text stay alive and exciting. The other thing that I thought was curious, though barely noticeable in such a short story, was that you never have dialogue attributed with a "he/she says". I think that kind of works with the sisters, because, by avoiding describing them or alluding to them in any human terms, you make them seem more unknowable. With the bits with the fighty-bloke, however, it just seems odd. Is it because you are uncomfortable with the grammar? A lot of people have problems with written speech, because they are never required to use it in the day today and the rules aren't really very intuitive. But it's easy when you know how, as they say.

Er... One last thing: once, when you have a section entirely comprised of dialogue, you stick the word "contempt" in front of one of their sentences; this seems out of place since there is no other interjection by a narrator/voice there, and the contempt is clear in what she says.

Enjoyed reading it.

#30 by Hugin
2005-04-08 18:05:28
lmccain@nber.org
Marsh, I think you're pretty much right about everything.  I'd re-edited the story several times.  It started as a sequel/spinoff of my Gentlebeings Agreement story from round 2.  It was humorous and had lots of little editorial asides in it. But then I decided to make it more serious, and the story drifted in a slightly different direction, and I felt like it was overwritten so I cut away and cut away, and maybe I cut to much so now it's a little choppy and unclear.

I agree with you about Chikri and Contempt, if I do another edit, I'll probably take them out.

I hate writing "he said, she said".  I know they're pretty much mentally invisible most of the time for the reader and I should just go ahead and make my peace with them, but I wanted to see if I could keep the conversations clear enough without tagging all the lines.

I'm glad you liked the world, or the approach to describing the world.  You probably have already seen me complain before about my problems with a lot of fantasy worlds.
#31 by Dumdeedum
2005-04-08 21:17:02
http://www.dumdeedum.com
Mmmm, more HL2.  Doesn't really give much info but more HL2 this summer (har) can only be a good thing.

Guest MP3OTW: Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft - Try.mp3 (Thanks E-Phonk!)
#32 by Matt Perkins
2005-04-08 22:53:22
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
Damn you guys are boring.  BORING!

"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds." - Albert Einstein.
#33 by jjohnsen
2005-04-08 23:05:49
http://www.johnsenclan.com
I guess I could talk about WOW.  I fit level 51 and time slowed down for me.  Too much running around to get quests, and the grind is really hitting me.  I only play now when I have plenty of rest XP saved up.

Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore.  -LP
#34 by jjohnsen
2005-04-09 00:55:50
http://www.johnsenclan.com
I'm stuck at work late on a Friday night, shouldn't some of you be posting to help keep me entertained?

Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore.  -LP
#35 by Penguinx
2005-04-09 01:32:30
I'm at work late too. We are sad, sad men. Also, sad men in the same industry. Maybe I'm bizarro JJ.

Raping your face makes me feel pretty.
#36 by Dumdeedum
2005-04-09 01:39:02
http://www.dumdeedum.com
Another working-late mug here, but I guess I could probably rustle up some entertainment.

Launches into a wild tap dance...

Guest MP3OTW: Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft - Try.mp3 (Thanks E-Phonk!)
#37 by Dumdeedum
2005-04-09 01:47:07
http://www.dumdeedum.com
And for my next act:

What did the inflatable schoolteacher say to the naughty inflatable schoolboy in the inflatable school?

You've let me down, you've let your whole school down, and worst of all, you've let yourself down.

Guest MP3OTW: Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft - Try.mp3 (Thanks E-Phonk!)
#38 by LPMiller
2005-04-09 02:04:44
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
I don't get it.

When LP says he's bringing Armageddon, he brings fucking Armageddon. - Caryn, 6/01/2004
#39 by Dumdeedum
2005-04-09 02:18:47
http://www.dumdeedum.com
Pah!  No appreciation for fine comedy, this crowd.  I'll be in my dressing room if anyone needs me.

*storms off*

Guest MP3OTW: Sidsel Endresen & Bugge Wesseltoft - Try.mp3 (Thanks E-Phonk!)
#40 by Hugin
2005-04-09 02:48:51
lmccain@nber.org
My mother is weirdly awesome sometimes.  I'm talking to her on the phone a few minutes ago, and out of nowhere she asks "Whatever happened to Guns and Roses anyway?"
#41 by Penguinx
2005-04-09 03:20:09
Still at work. Boo.

Raping your face makes me feel pretty.
#42 by UncleJeet
2005-04-09 04:35:48
Axl Rose got fat, then decided to trade in his skin for silly putty via very bad plastic surgery.

Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam...
#43 by McBain
2005-04-09 05:05:28
Gun 'n' Roses was such a great band in a semi-ironic spectacle kind of way.  Its too bad that Axl was such an asshole.  He's such a moron and egomaniac, but his voice just made those dark guitar hooks work.  "Appetite For Destruction" still gets heavy play on my iPod.
#44 by McBain
2005-04-09 05:05:38
Guns
#45 by schnee
2005-04-09 05:06:41
david@snowdesign.com
I just got home. At 4:30 on Fridays, our company has a happy hour, where they give us snacks and beer. The snacks usually suck, but the beer is decent... Sam Adams, Karl Strauss, Corona, etc. Tonight the snacks were good, and we had chocolate chip cookies. Did I say how cool it was to work for one of the Fortune top 100 places to work?
#46 by lwf
2005-04-09 05:17:06
No, but go draw something.

Give up your pussy again.
#47 by schnee
2005-04-09 05:21:20
david@snowdesign.com
Love to, but going out to see a friend's band play. I'll draw tomorrow morning. Toodles!
#48 by m0nty
2005-04-09 05:32:11
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
Hah, that's funny. Now lwf gets ignored by not one, but two artists!
#49 by McBain
2005-04-09 07:58:22
Arthur Finkelstein, prominent Republican consultant who has directed a series of hard-edged political campaigns to elect conservatives in the U.S. and Israel over the past 30 years, said Friday that he had married his male partner in civil ceremony at home in Mass... MORE... Finkelstein said in a brief interview that he had married his partner of 40 years to ensure couple had same benefits available to married heterosexual couples...
#50 by Greg
2005-04-09 08:52:18
Who?

こんにちは
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