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Twas The Crap Before Christmas...
December 19th 2004, 16:59 CET by KneeL

So, what do you all want for christmas? What did you get for christmas? Where you going, what you doing etc..
Amuse us all with tales of your greatest and worst christmas ever....
Bad gifts? Tell us all and in extreme cases supply giffage...
Come on folks let us bathe in christmassy cheer and raise a toast to this finest of sites.
HO Fuckin' HO.
C O M M E N T S
Home » Topic: Twas The Crap Before Christmas...

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#1 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 16:59:57
I want nothing

Tobes of Hades, lit by flickering torchlight
#2 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 17:01:44
No wait, I take that back.  I want Duke Nukem Forever

Tobes of Hades, lit by flickering torchlight
#3 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 17:02:12
and time.  Lots and lots of time.  And a Rush album, and a Red Ryder BB Gun.

Tobes of Hades, lit by flickering torchlight
#4 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 17:02:40
and a cottage in Ireland, with plenty of land to raise border collies, with a T1 run to the cottage

Tobes of Hades, lit by flickering torchlight
#5 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 17:13:48
watch your language

R U S H
#6 by Ashiran
2004-12-19 17:29:27
CHRISTMAS IS OVER! GO HOME!

Nihil nequeo.
#7 by "ICBM"
2004-12-19 17:31:32
wouter_db@yahoo.com
Hurray, stuff ourselves with food, stupid gifts and family meetings.....indeed HO FUCKING HO..
#8 by Ashiran
2004-12-19 17:34:36
I heard Jezus died for your sins once.

Nihil nequeo.
#9 by anaqer
2004-12-19 17:37:37
Tough luck.

I DO NOT CHEAT.
I just play by extended rules.
#10 by UncleJeet
2004-12-19 18:13:07
I don't really have a Christmas Wish List.  I want something, I buy it - so in order to be able to get me any presents whatsoever, the wife forbade me to buy anything starting December 1st.  Of course, she caved early on when she wanted season three of 24, so I've just been buying up whatever I wanted.  I wouldn't mind the latest and greatest ATI card, but unless she can conjure one up out of thin air or call upon the dark forces to materialize one, I don't think she'll be able to find it anywhere.  What's up with ATI's inability to produce anything in quantity these days?

#11 by FoRmaT
2004-12-19 18:15:16
I wish I could relive the fun of celebrating Christmas as a child. It was something youīd look forward to for two months. The 23rd I couldnīt ever sleep. I always resisted the temptation to sneak out to the tree and open the presents before time. I have a picture of me as a 3-4 old boy where I just opened a box, to find a Transformer in it. When I see how happy and cute I was, and I see my father again as a young man, it almost brings tears to my eyes. Screenshots may follow.

"Uhm... it back-fired a bit. :( "  - Andy, 12/20/98
#12 by UncleJeet
2004-12-19 18:27:34
I get what you're saying about Christmas in childhood.  I could NEVER sleep the night before Christmas and I always resisted the urge to find out what I was getting before Christmas morning.  It was a great time every year.

#13 by Charles
2004-12-19 18:32:33
www.bluh.org
Thinking...

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-SO-LONG-FUCKER!
#14 by Charles
2004-12-19 18:32:41
www.bluh.org
Bah humbug.

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-SO-LONG-FUCKER!
#15 by FoRmaT
2004-12-19 18:35:48
Funny, humbug is a word we use in German, too.

"Uhm... it back-fired a bit. :( "  - Andy, 12/20/98
#16 by Charles
2004-12-19 18:38:49
www.bluh.org
Christmas was just never fun for me as a child.  The days leading up to were great but invariably christmas was a letdown where my parents fought and were angry all day, and we were forced to visit family that weren't worth visiting.

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-SO-LONG-FUCKER!
#17 by FoRmaT
2004-12-19 18:44:28
Bah, you were still better off than the guy from Gremlins.

"Uhm... it back-fired a bit. :( "  - Andy, 12/20/98
#18 by UncleJeet
2004-12-19 18:48:03
I dunno, he had Phoebe....ah, Fast Times indeed.

#19 by Chunkstyle
2004-12-19 19:01:48
I want Halo2.  I hear that I will be disappointed whether I get it or not.

Game Developers: Don't forget the zombie monkeys.
#20 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 19:02:02
I used to work for a Gremlin.  His name was Spike.

R U S H
#21 by UncleJeet
2004-12-19 19:02:33
From Buffy??  He's so dreamy!

#22 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-19 19:07:51
http://www.electrophonk.be
First I'm going to a family dinner.  It's quite fun - talking and eating with some relatives that I only see a few times a year, and playing some PS2 with my 12 year old niece.

Afterwards I'll be playing at a local club.  It's my best friends birthday and we'll be playing some chilled out music there - all of our friends come together and it usually is a really cosy mood.

#23 by BobJustBob
2004-12-19 19:11:30
Eh, Christmas used to be fun because I'd get more stuff on that one day than I got for the rest of the year. But once I got a job, it became meaningless. Maybe if my parents were much richer than me, it would have meaning still.

Dood.
#24 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-19 19:14:23
http://www.electrophonk.be
Christmas isn't about presents... It's about the birth if the critter antichrist.

#25 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 19:15:56
Hail Satan!

R U S H
#26 by BobJustBob
2004-12-19 19:20:15
If it weren't for the presents, Christmas would just be a meaningless holiday like Easter.

Dood.
#27 by Xero
2004-12-19 19:45:25
http://novakometa.blogspot.com/
The deaths in as painful a manner as possible of all the US citizens in the Red States that voted for Bush, possibly something involving spiny bowel rending parasites.

Give me that and I'll look forward to the New Year.

The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home.   James Madison
#28 by LPMiller
2004-12-19 19:48:25
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Peace on Earth, Disembowel Certain Men?

When LP says he's bringing Armageddon, he brings fucking Armageddon. - Caryn, 6/01/2004
#29 by Jibble
2004-12-19 20:00:49
BLOOD ORGY!

Humping...

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#30 by Sgt Hulka
2004-12-19 20:12:38
Thanks a lot Xero.  I'm in a red state, but I didn't vote.  Thanks for the painful death wish.  Geesh..

R U S H
#31 by Anonymous
2004-12-19 20:25:31
Me wants suprnova back! Not for Christmas! Now!

#32 by yotsuya
2004-12-19 20:44:52
I enjoy Christmas more now because I have my own kids, and that's fun. I'm taking my daughter to see Santa in a few hours, then we're scheduling a therapy session because of the lying.

"yot's a religious nut that really truly actually believes in a physical heaven with a graybearded man on a throne with an individual master plan for all of us and a Make A Mountain clay kit nearby"- gaggle
#33 by UncleJeet
2004-12-19 20:46:56
Or you can tell her that UncleJeet is really Santa Claus and she'll be so terrified that she'll never want him visiting anyway.

#34 by Jibble
2004-12-19 20:54:35
I'm happy to announce that I just saw Miracle on 34th Street, and now not only do I believe in Santa, but I believe in the cynicism of the United States Postal Service.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#35 by yotsuya
2004-12-19 20:57:57
BTW, I want a 61 inch Mitsubishi 16:9 HDTV, but I sure as hell ain't getting one.

"yot's a religious nut that really truly actually believes in a physical heaven with a graybearded man on a throne with an individual master plan for all of us and a Make A Mountain clay kit nearby"- gaggle
#36 by Jibble
2004-12-19 21:13:19
I set my limit for TVs at 42".  Anything higher than that and the optimal viewing distance becomes ridiculous and unnecessary and you might as well just buy a projector if you're going to go there.

If I had my pick, this Christmas I'd like to be free from want of all physical possessions and to attain enlightenment through inward thinking.  Barring that, two pairs of these would be nice.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#37 by yotsuya
2004-12-19 21:14:37
[joker]I set my limit for my dick a 4".  Anything longer than that and the optimal stroking distance becomes ridiculous and unnecessary and you might as well just buy a Real Doll if you're going to go there.[/joker]

"yot's a religious nut that really truly actually believes in a physical heaven with a graybearded man on a throne with an individual master plan for all of us and a Make A Mountain clay kit nearby"- gaggle
#38 by Jibble
2004-12-19 21:16:01
See, having a giant dick means I don't need a big screen or a nice car.  Being married helps, too...makes sure I don't ever get a big screen or a nice car...

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#39 by yotsuya
2004-12-19 21:17:57
Being married helps, too...makes sure I don't ever get a big screen or a nice car...

Amen, Brother Jibble.

"yot's a religious nut that really truly actually believes in a physical heaven with a graybearded man on a throne with an individual master plan for all of us and a Make A Mountain clay kit nearby"- gaggle
#40 by "ICBM"
2004-12-19 21:28:46
wouter_db@yahoo.com
Christmas would be a lot nice if we had a nice pile of snow every year. But thanks to the assholes driving around in there SUV's we will problably never have a white christmas anymore.
#41 by FoRmaT
2004-12-19 21:32:34
I dig SUVīs. I donīt see a problem with driving one.

"Uhm... it back-fired a bit. :( "  - Andy, 12/20/98
#42 by Jibble
2004-12-19 21:36:31
My troll detector just exploded, fell to the ground, then exploded again.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#43 by FoRmaT
2004-12-19 21:45:13
I just ran it over with my SUV.

"Uhm... it back-fired a bit. :( "  - Andy, 12/20/98
#44 by gaggle
2004-12-19 22:13:21
I wish for:

A modicum of selfcontrol, so that I would not waste my life watching Xena. That'd be nice. Anyway, off to watch Xena.

Better get her a webcam too. G-Man
#45 by The_Joker
2004-12-19 22:22:52
http://www.jackinworld.com
gaggle, you might find it interesting to know that your avatar pic made me jerk off once the first time i saw it.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
The American government and its supporters suck cock. See Fahrenheit 9/11 and discover the truth.
#46 by The_Joker
2004-12-19 22:29:53
http://www.jackinworld.com
by the way, this xmas i get to exercise my theories of special wang relativity again! Yep, my wonderful girly will be back tomorrow! My wang will once again experience the glory of 10 inches.

it would all be perfect had suprnova.org not closed their site.

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
The American government and its supporters suck cock. See Fahrenheit 9/11 and discover the truth.
#47 by FoRmaT
2004-12-19 22:32:15
Joker, your disc is scratched!

"Uhm... it back-fired a bit. :( "  - Andy, 12/20/98
#48 by The_Joker
2004-12-19 22:36:04
http://www.jackinworld.com
And isn't that wonderful?

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
The American government and its supporters suck cock. See Fahrenheit 9/11 and discover the truth.
#49 by FoRmaT
2004-12-19 22:44:58
No.

"Uhm... it back-fired a bit. :( "  - Andy, 12/20/98
#50 by The_Joker
2004-12-19 22:52:01
http://www.jackinworld.com
sucks 2 b u

Joker, Ph.D. Procedural Assholian Behaviour, Pedophilosopher
- All your ass are belong to my wang Jafd. Prepare to are penetration.
"I fart in THX." - Sgt_Hulka

PENETRATOR: Rise of the Wang Cuming "When it's done".
The American government and its supporters suck cock. See Fahrenheit 9/11 and discover the truth.
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