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DOOM 3 or not DOOM 3?
December 13th 2004, 15:26 CET by JasonB

It looks like DOOM 3 the movie will be in the theaters on August 5, 2005.
Budget:  $70M
Director: Andrzej Barkowiak (Cradle 2 the Grave)
Writer:   Dave Callahan (???)
Actors:  Karl Urban (Eomer from Lord of the Rings)
            Rosamund Pike (Hottie from Die Another Day)            
            "The Rock"  (Soon to be Governor "The Rock" ?)

Screenwriter Dave Callahan claims “everyone was keen to keep the game’s atmosphere”, though there are some “minor” changes done to the film’s concept: The monsters have nothing to do with hell, the plot is not taking place on Mars and “space marines” are not well “space marines” as their outfits are more like SWAT team members.

So what's DOOM 3 about this movie?  After "Final Fantasy", "Wing Commander" and "Tomb Raider" do we have any right to expect any movie based on a game to be worth watching?  The writer describes the movie as more of a horror film than an action flick...who is this jerk and where can I send the hate mail?
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#1 by KneeL
2004-12-13 15:26:55
neilharrott@hotmail.com Coming soon
YES!

You could add this to the crooked vagina comic. - Jibble
#2 by KneeL
2004-12-13 15:27:07
neilharrott@hotmail.com Coming soon
Hehe...second post

You could add this to the crooked vagina comic. - Jibble
#3 by KneeL
2004-12-13 15:27:37
neilharrott@hotmail.com Coming soon
Doom 3 will be awful straight to rental crap...

You could add this to the crooked vagina comic. - Jibble
#4 by ProStyle
2004-12-13 15:28:42
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
First post trifecta? Unholy.

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#5 by KneeL
2004-12-13 15:29:04
neilharrott@hotmail.com Coming soon
Fear me.

You could add this to the crooked vagina comic. - Jibble
#6 by Jibble
2004-12-13 15:31:05
Everyone looooves to go on and on about blah blah Tomb Raider and bitch bitch Final Fantasy and wah wah Wing Commander.  No one ever bothers to bring up the pure genius of the Super Mario Brothers movie because they know it proves them wrong.

Bob Hoskins is MARIO MARIO!
John Leguizamo is LUIGI MARIO!

Starring Dennis Hopper as KING KOOPA!

You know it in your heart to be true.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#7 by Jibble
2004-12-13 15:32:06
Or, in Jeopardy answer form:

"How do you make an exploding Jeet?"

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#8 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-13 15:58:16
http://www.electrophonk.be
Hahah,

I just checked imdb for Super Mario Bros: the movie - and in the forum this was the top post


Towards the end of the film, the two dimensions in which this terrible yet strangely entertaining movie take place merge. The film makers show this by having the actors and various structures "dissolve" into the opposite dimension from where they are. This is where it gets interesting.

This film deliberately and explicitly shows the twin towers dissolve into nothing. The natural reaction to this is to think that it is merely a coincidence. However, the plot thickens...

Hollywood Pictures (the studio responsible for Super Mario Bros) was largely owned by Saudi businessmen. This leads me to believe that they, not the director (who of course is innocent in this debacle), decided to put that shot into the film. Was it a warning sign of 9/11? Was it some sort of subliminal propaganda? The answer is neither.

Super Mario Bros was released in 1993, meaning it was filmed and edited in 1992. The twin towers dissolving was an allusion to the then-near-future attempt to blow-up the World Trade Center in 1993. By why Super Mario Bros?

Certain reports state that Osama bin Laden was once an avid gamer. His favorite game? You guessed it: Super Mario Bros. It seems that terrorists in the early nineties used mass media to tease the United States. Sadly, no one caught on.

I'm not surprised that I am the first to put together the pieces. Clearly, no one in their right mind has seen Super Mario Bros since the Clinton Administration, which, as we all know, was a time when terrorism was less of an issue, as the president's promiscuity always made the top headlines.

What I propose is that all copies of Super Mario Bros be recalled. Whether it is on VHS, Beta, or even LaserDisc (I hope for the sake of standards in the film industry that this film was never put onto DVD). All copies must be returned to the distributer. This film forsakes our nation and its stand for democracy. If no recall is found to be necessary by the distributor (the same ones who put that shot into the film, mind you), I propose that each owner of Super Mario Bros takes it upon his or herself to destroy the movie. This can be done by either by burning it (please check with your local fire chief on what the restrictions are for making fires in your community), or by other means.

Thank you.

Vote Nader!


Hahahaha

#9 by UncleJeet
2004-12-13 16:06:43
Bob Hoskins is no more Mario than I am The Little Mermaid.

#10 by CheesyPoof
2004-12-13 16:08:21
url=http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0419706/]IMDB[/url] listing.

Oy, there are characters Dr. Carmack, Dr. Steve Willits and a Dr Carmack Imp listed too.  Oh boy.
#11 by Scott Miller
2004-12-13 16:08:36
scottmi11er@hotmail.com
It's simply too hard to believe that Id would allow such a butchering of their brand to take place.  Is there a link that verifies this direction for the movie?

"I have no special gift.  I am only passionately curious."  --  Albert Einstein
#12 by CheesyPoof
2004-12-13 16:08:51
IMDB
#13 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-13 16:12:57
http://www.electrophonk.be
Scott,

slashdot link.

#14 by Dethstryk
2004-12-13 16:15:35
jemartin@tcainternet.com
I wish people would stop pretending that there is a Doom 3 movie being made, considering that they've already released information about it which makes that clear. They are making some generic zombie movie and not the demons from hell movie on Mars they should be making.
#15 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-13 16:18:16
http://www.electrophonk.be
But one might question: WHY?

It's not that generic zombie movies are more popular than a descent scifi flick.  It sounds terrible, not that the original plot of doom has a lot going for it - but they have been talking about a doom movie for years - and when they are finally making it - it won't be a doom movie - or be totally incoherent to the doom universe.

#16 by Jibble
2004-12-13 16:21:12
I'm still not sure whether that's the real Scott Miller or just one of his autonomous chat-bots, but here goes anyway.

Scott, is there a planned location for Cilantro's Burrito Grill in Dallas?  You raved about it quite a bit, and I was hoping to try it.  Problem is that the only location I can find is in Lubbock, and 356 miles is a bit far to drive for a burrito.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#17 by ProStyle
2004-12-13 16:26:40
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
But one might question: WHY?

Cashing in on the IP while it's still fresh? I dunno, Doom 3 as a game was so bad I am personally never going to be involved with the franchise as a consumer ever again. Might as well punt out something as close as possible while the imprint is still fresh in our minds. Not that it had a stellar or original marketing campaign to begin with... ( Diablo font with crappy web ads?)

Why not is a more reasonable question. They obviously do not have very much left to lose in terms of hardcore fans, might as well farm out the franchise on its last legs while they can. It wouldn't make any sense to release it later, as they have made it clear they are not interested in producing more titles in the series. I assume this is especially true after the reception of D3.

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#18 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-13 16:30:14
http://www.electrophonk.be
Prostyle,

Oh, I don't argue "why are they making this" or "why are they making this now" - but why the zombies instead of monsters... I would assume bigass monsters from another dimension to be way cooler and giving them a lot more possibilities graphicwise.  Idem with the Space marines turning into swats.
Aren't lasers and space suits more attractive?

If they wanted the zombie/swat theme they should have made another Resident Evil game.

#19 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-13 16:30:48
http://www.electrophonk.be
game

movie

#20 by CheesyPoof
2004-12-13 16:31:34
Problem is that the only location I can find is in Lubbock, and 356 miles is a bit far to drive for a burrito.

Not if you really love burritos.
#21 by Jibble
2004-12-13 16:33:56
#20 CheesyPoof
Not if you really love burritos.

But we haven't even found out if they're Duke Nuked yet!

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#22 by VeeSPIKE
2004-12-13 16:34:51
#20 CheesyPoof
Problem is that the only location I can find is in Lubbock, and 356 miles is a bit far to drive for a burrito.

Not if you really love burritos.


It would take less time and money to sit down and learn how to make your own burritos than it would to drive that far to get one.

The media doesn't educate, it sensationalizes. That's why there's no learning curve, just repeated bouts of gross stupidity. Bailey
#23 by ProStyle
2004-12-13 16:41:52
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
I'm assuming the choice in setting and direction is purely to appeal to the broadest range of viewers. Like you said, there are certain concessions that are made by their defaulting to zombie generics. I'm definately in your end of the boat when I say I am just floored at this, it really makes no sense from a creative perspective. From a perspective of a hardcore Doom 2 fan there are just so many blown opportunities it's enough to make one queasy. The basic 3 script prompts from the Hell on Earth transitions would make a better movie than I'm sure anything they will come up with. The other thing that's interesting to note is they are obviously disregarding the books entirely, which is just amazing. I read the first two when I was really young and I could see either of them being ported to the screen quite easily.

The first book was about the lone marine you played (flynn something or another, fly' for short?) and him coming to grips with the invasion, his discoveries and progress through the Mars bases much like the original Doom. It ends with him pairing up with a woman marine, lots of rocket launcher hell knight battles, space-pod to Earth final sequence. The second was them crash landing in Utah only to find everything infested and run-amok, Zombie filled supermarkets, etc. Flesh-trains of the damned, screaming biomechanical wreckage, it was really quite nice. Cyberdemons patrolling city blocks... even at it's most amateur level, ignoring all of this material is just beyond me. All I can think about when I envision this movie is that Alone in the Dark trailer Post-It linked... oh, the pain.

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#24 by G-Man
2004-12-13 16:44:29
Well, personally, I don't see how the source of the monsterization being a virus changes anything. In fact, it sort of explains how all the humans working in the military installations got turned into zombies/demons/whatever. I mean it isn't as if id went out of its way to explain how that stuff happened in the games, in a way that would preclude it being a sort of virus. As for the costumes being changed, that is far less of a change than there being more than one "space marine" and the main character being capable of conversation. I still think the movie will probably suck, just because the story behind Doom itself sort of sucks and has been done to death. The fact that they are going out of their way to include first person footage, a chainsaw, and the BFG (now called the Bio Force Gun) just makes me cringe. I don't know how they deluded themselves into thinking that the shooter market is large enough to support those things. Oh well, at least David Freeman isn't involved.
#25 by Matt Perkins
2004-12-13 16:54:24
wizardque@yahoo.com http://whatwouldmattdo.com/
The Super Mario Brothers movie owned.

"Who's the hypocrite now. hmm?? HMM??? Stupid mick. If you so much as write another word about it I'm going to punch you in the face." - Joker
#26 by Marsh Davies
2004-12-13 16:59:21
www.verbalchilli.com
Well hey, the plot to Doom wasn't the Cherry Orchard by any means, so who could really have expected the film adaptation to be a showcase for screenwriting genius? In fact, it would be a great shock if any adaptation of Doom wasn't asstastic.

Having said that, it does seem totally bizarre that they would ditch the two most identifiable features of their story; that a) it takes place on Mars, and b) it involves demons, most likely from Hell. How is the story they have now come up with different from the Resident Evil franchise? Will this not throw the brand into total confusion? I think we need some Certifed Marketing Smart Person to come and set us straight!

#27 by Jibble
2004-12-13 17:03:19
Honestly, I was just looking forward to seeing just how ridiculous a CGI Cacodemon could look.  Now that they've taken that away this movie is dead to me.

Well it beats going to the video store to rent the latest hardcore releases twice a week. - G-Man
#28 by Marsh Davies
2004-12-13 17:04:24
www.verbalchilli.com
G-Man
I mean it isn't as if id went out of its way to explain how that stuff happened in the games, in a way that would preclude it being a sort of virus.


...

What part of being possessed by demons from Hell do you think is compatible with the idea of a virus?

#29 by KneeL
2004-12-13 17:07:48
neilharrott@hotmail.com Coming soon
In an effort to stay true to the source and please hardcore gamers two thirds of Doom The Movie will just a black screen with the occasional growl and banging to be heard.

You could add this to the crooked vagina comic. - Jibble
#30 by Huge Wood Farmer
2004-12-13 17:15:35
The Doom movie is supposed to be bad, so I love it!

Misery is educational. -lwf
#31 by FormerFlyGuy
2004-12-13 17:16:07
And lots of "Where the fuck did that come from?!  That room was cleared!?  Fuck, if you can't design a level properly, stop being cheap by dropping enemies out of nowhere and go back to tormenting puppies." moments
#32 by Duality
2004-12-13 17:22:54
Dualipuff@yahoo.com http://stratoscape.ath.cx/
Hah!  Staff Sargeant Martin from Band of Brothers/Soap from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels is playing Pinky!

I vote Duality as TOTY.
-Wudi
#33 by Greg
2004-12-13 17:27:10
While Wing Commander and Tomb Raider might have been considered crappy movies, they stayed true to the source material. Final Fantasy didn't have a whole lot to do with the games, other than somewhat familiar themes.

こんにちは
#34 by LPMiller
2004-12-13 17:42:34
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
Which is true to the source, because the FF games don't make a lick of sense either.

When LP says he's bringing Armageddon, he brings fucking Armageddon. - Caryn, 6/01/2004
#35 by jjohnsen
2004-12-13 17:45:45
http://www.johnsenclan.com
The second was them crash landing in Utah only to find everything infested and run-amok, Zombie filled supermarkets, etc. Flesh-trains of the damned, screaming biomechanical wreckage, it was really quite nice.

Sounds like the Utah I know, is it non-fiction?

Actually, the liberalism of the media - as a general thing - IS a major fallacy. What the media is, is a whore.  -LP
#36 by m0nty
2004-12-13 17:47:29
http://tinfinger.blogspot.com
I don't know how you could expect a Hollywood film about Doom to not be slashed to ribbons by conservative censors in the current political environment. It was an exercise in futility to attempt the movie in the first place.
#37 by McBain
2004-12-13 17:50:50
And lots of "Where the fuck did that come from?!  That room was cleared!?  Fuck, if you can't design a level properly, stop being cheap by dropping enemies out of nowhere and go back to tormenting puppies." moments

I'm not sure why this bothers people so much.  Is it not plausible for a room you haven't been in a while to have had enemies wander back into it from somewhere you aren't aware of?  This is why infinite spawning in Ravenholme didn't really bother me.  It was supposed to seem like a vast city where hoardes of zombie come out of the woodwork to come after you.  That it is possible to catch some of the artifice isn't unforgiveable.  All video games take some suspension of disbelief/imagination.

www.dailyhowler.com is the single most important website that Americans should read every day.
"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
#38 by yotsuya
2004-12-13 17:55:07
Huge Wood has the post of the day in #30.

And

It's simply too hard to believe that Id would allow such a butchering of their brand to take place.

Shouldn't you be busy approving another Duke sidescroller?

"yot's a religious nut that really truly actually believes in a physical heaven with a graybearded man on a throne with an individual master plan for all of us and a Make A Mountain clay kit nearby"- gaggle
#39 by Charles
2004-12-13 17:57:39
www.bluh.org
Final Fantasy didn't have a whole lot to do with the games, other than somewhat familiar themes.


Well... when you consider that no individual game has anything to do with the others except for somewhat familiar themes...

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-SO-LONG-FUCKER!
#40 by ProStyle
2004-12-13 18:00:39
http://prostyle.deviantart.com
Is it not plausible for a room you haven't been in a while to have had enemies wander back into it from somewhere you aren't aware of?  

The problem is they didn't just 'repopulate' areas you had left and returned to. The gameplay in Doom3 revolved around moving forward and encountering a group of enemies in a box. In between you and those enemies is a trigger brush that you hit while moving about, teleporting an imp (autotargeted and in attack mode) a single doorway behind you. Not only was this stupid and tiring after the second time, you could actually hear it happen before you even got through killing the original enemies. The last 6 hours I played the game I ran forward, cleared a room and ran backwards to meet the Imp halfway. Only once or twice was there a slight variation on this, and that was usually based upon the enemies being killed that triggered a new spawning (rather than a physical box). There is absolutely no correlation between the Doom 3 mechanics and your point about Ravenholm (which I agree with you on 100%).

Fabricated like the word absurditive
#41 by McBain
2004-12-13 18:06:23
ProStyle-  Having not played Doom 3, I trust your right.  But in theory, infinite spawning/repopulating areas doesn't bother me.  As long as it's done right.

www.dailyhowler.com is the single most important website that Americans should read every day.
"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
#42 by deadlock
2004-12-13 18:27:10
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Marsh:
What part of being possessed by demons from Hell do you think is compatible with the idea of a virus?

G-Man is one of a growing number of people who can't suspend their disbelief when they go to a horror movie unless it has some cod-scientific explanation as to how IT COULD REALLY HAPPEN.

Greg:
Final Fantasy didn't have a whole lot to do with the games, other than somewhat familiar themes.

And for all its faults was a better movie than either of them (especially Wing Commander - ugh).

They said if I wrote the perfect love song
That you would have me back
So I wrote it
But I lost it
But will you have me back anyway now?
#43 by E-ph0nk
2004-12-13 18:30:16
http://www.electrophonk.be
I didn't dislike the FF movie like most.  It was above average, pretty to look at and the story wasn't too bad for a computergame based scifi movie.

Nothing great, but not a complete failure either

#44 by deadlock
2004-12-13 18:37:47
http://www.deadlocked.org/
I think it's a shame that Square have decided not to make any more; there really was a lot to enjoy about that film. Who knows what would have happened if Square had teamed up with some one like James Cameron or Ridley Scott for another film using the same technology.

They said if I wrote the perfect love song
That you would have me back
So I wrote it
But I lost it
But will you have me back anyway now?
#45 by McBain
2004-12-13 18:39:57
The FF movie was shit.

www.dailyhowler.com is the single most important website that Americans should read every day.
"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
#46 by LPMiller
2004-12-13 18:40:16
lpmiller@gotapex.com http://www.gotapex.com
The movie would be twice as long and still pretty confusing?

When LP says he's bringing Armageddon, he brings fucking Armageddon. - Caryn, 6/01/2004
#47 by deadlock
2004-12-13 18:41:56
http://www.deadlocked.org/
Maybe, but in fairness both of those directors have produced some great works in their time.

They said if I wrote the perfect love song
That you would have me back
So I wrote it
But I lost it
But will you have me back anyway now?
#48 by UncleJeet
2004-12-13 18:44:46
I want to know what happened to the Nocturne movie that was optioned oh so long ago.  With the crap movies like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Van Helsing, there was/is obviously some market for a period-piece movie about supernatural monsters and those who kill them.

I know everyone hates Nocturne, but hate of the gameplay and control issues aside, surely you have to agree that it had one of the coolest settings and main characters of any game of recent memory.  Surely, you must!

#49 by Shadarr
2004-12-13 18:45:52
shadarr@yahoo.com http://digital-luddite.com
Shadows aren't that big a deal in movies.  What else does Nocturne have to offer?

Like you never put up a dead baby fetus website?  - Your Friend
#50 by FormerFlyGuy
2004-12-13 19:11:35
ProStyle-  Having not played Doom 3, I trust your right.  But in theory, infinite spawning/repopulating areas doesn't bother me.  As long as it's done right.


Me either.  But it should be noted that Doom 3 did *not* do it right.  I played maybe 6 hours of it before I simply couldn't be bothered any more.

Oh and the 'we're so futuristic we can't figure out to tape a flashlight onto our gun' shit?  Asstastic.
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